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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope the pain eases @Mazarita and that everything comes out alright (pun intended). I wonder if herbal medicine would have any solutions for you.

They have a 3 bedroom house, one room is spare all the time and I've always stayed with them and there's been no conflict that I'm aware of at those times. When their first child was born I stayed for 8 weeks and did all the cooking. And that was at their request to keep extending my stay. I guess the one truth in life is that things change.

They just don't want to hear about my journey and battle with NDIS. Kidult is legally blind so is also looking at getting an NDIS plan. But with a permanent physical disability like that and involvement of Vision Australia long term, they are automatically eligible. It's a totally different kettle of fish.

They also mention the past frequently but won't let me. I'm sounding like a whinger and don't want to.

I get that it's a different situation with you and your Mum.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Will have a look at your thread @Teej x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Oh that is so hard with all those medical specialists adding up to no improvement. I hope there is something on the horizon that can help. Am I right to think crohns is a bit like endometriosis in that people respond differently to different thinks and even surgery often doesn’t change the pain? I’ve been reading more about that lately.

I hope you get some relief soon.

Ps I’m likely to mess up the time I’m being picked up today.

Sending hugs 💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @eth i just reread one of my posts on that thread and the timing for you is terrible. Please ignore it. It was the post on love. Feeling bad I lead you there. It was more about where I’ve been and trying to go forward again. I’m so sorry if it hurt you. Sometimes I don’t think first 😣

💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's ok @Teej

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope I didn't offend you with my pun @Mazarita.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I’m so sorry @eth. I really didn’t think until I reread it ...too late. I guess though that love changes and shows itself in different ways at different times. It is as you say an ever changing dynamic. I have hope your situation will change.

Writing those posts was one of the most vulnerable things I’ve done on the forum for me. I know you’ve shared really vulnerable things about you which I’ve always been appreciative of and respected. I find it a strange thing to do. Since writing it on Friday I’ve realised that some things really depend on my headset at the time. Some of the things I thought were my truths on Friday don’t appear to be so strong held today. I’m not sure why.

Anyway I wish you some peace for the day

oops and I did look up the twisted hair link you sent through from the other thread. It was interesting for me to read it, and different to anything I’d read (note I’m not an avid reader) but interesting and I’m glad you shared the link.

best wishes 💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, you never offend me. ox 🙂

On the train now, waiting for it to move off. In the muddle with times this morning, I just decided to leave early anyway. That bus often runs late, which would have meant I would miss the train connection and the whole appointment. So I got the earlier bus, which itself ran 7 minutes late getting to the station. That was the long way of explaining my sudden departure in the middle of our conversation. Anyway I'm here on the train now, with time to make it to psychiatrist appt. Ah, the joys of public transport!

Chat later, @Teej and @eth oxox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm going off-line now too @Teej need to step away from the computer. Hope today goes well for you too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita @eth @Teej

Have so much that I want to say..

so much that I can relate to with all 3 of you on parallels over years and now..

have zero energy..

emotional mess again..

over medical health system..

changes in medications.....too many changes ....feel dismissed... New go who might only be here for 6 months..other go only works part time ..on school holidays now..booked out for weeks the little time she works..

there I am being selfish now..

eth family dynamics are nightmares..

I wonder if daughter? Is having hormonal issues....sounds as though she might be setting boundaries for herself for whatever reason..no excuse for rudeness....stay in motel? Heartless sorry don't want to upset..

give money when you are on pension??

Very brave to look after you...I know how much that hurts re family..

will try to reply more another day

hello also @outlander @Shaz51💚🤕😣🤕😷

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