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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm back @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too, @eth. I'm winding down again towards sleep, though not quite there yet. I am guessing you will need to take another rest day today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Perhaps @Mazarita but I've had 6 1/2 hrs already, 2 hrs more than my average for over a month. And I always take time out 2.30 -3.30 pm to do mindfulness breathing and/or nap. But if I get tired some other time I will go to bed, even if I have to get in by crawling! Not great in terms of sleep hygeine 'rules' but the psych docs both said at this point of sleep deprivation I should just give in to sleep whenever it comes.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, nobody will be around to watch you crawl into bed. I say go for it. Makes sense that the doctors might prioritise you getting sleep at any time rather than continue in sleep deprivation. The thing that helped me when I became way too ragged and unwell from lack of sleep last year was being prescribed an old style antihistamine. Non addictive and effective for getting to sleep at least, even if I do still wake up in the middle of the night.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm pretty sure I know which one you mean @Mazarita and it doesn't work for me. I'm on a second antipsychotic plus a benzo, and I do get to sleep but the max in one go so far is 4 hrs. Then a couple of 1-1 1/2 hr sleeps over the day on a day I can sleep. Since the hypomania kicked in I often just get a 10 min micronap no matter how tired I feel my head just bounces back up and I'm off the bed before I even know I'm awake!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too with the up out of bed before you even know you're awake, @eth. It's such a contrast to how I used to be. For a very long time it seemed an impossible task of a morning to drag myself from the bed. I'd rather the up and attem, even if I end up sitting in a chair half the morning (or all of the morning), as often happens after the initial burst of action.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sums me up too @Mazarita on the days when no-one else is here. When bro, SIL or both are here I feel too visible and try to keep up appearances of doing something during the day. Accountability has it's pro's and con's that's for sure. Yesterday I had told them what was happening in my body and still was told to water the garden ('make yourself useful said in a joking way ---NOT funny) and wash my car when I was needing to rest my legs . I ended up almost snapping and said to my brother "give me a break. I'm very fragile today" and he eased off on me. The line between encouragement and pressure is getting thicker! And he's on the side of the latter, or that's how it feels to me..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The 'accountability' does sound like the main drawback of your current situation, @eth. Is there any way you could have a conversation with your brother and SIL about them being 'parental' in attitude to you? It's a hard one, a work in progress I imagine. But if you are able to gently approach this with them over time, it could have longer term benefits. Personally I find it exhausting when there is too much 'accountability' in my life. We are adult people after all who have survived this long in life as essentially independent people.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Your last statement is quite true @Mazarita. I am giving thought as to the best approach with them. But I also know that I need their help and support at various levels and this is the price for that. i.e. they have to observe me to know what I need/want e.g. advocating for me with NDIS. Our request for review ended up being 44 pages! SIL wrote an AMAZING cover letter for it and took time off work and spent many hours on phone looking for resources I can still use without NDIS etc. So I guess it's natural for them to be 'observing' me. Good news is they offered me frosting on the glass front door a couple of days ago - so a bit more privacy.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, frosting on the front glass sounds like a great idea for a start. I get a fair bit of paranoia still, so I would find clear glass on the front door very confronting. I understand the delicacy of approaching your brother and SIL on this issue when they are being very generous and helping you a lot. Alternatively, maybe it's something that might bother you less as time goes by. As in, water off a duck's back, if possible. I guess there's bound to be some things that are difficult between people living in close proximity. How far from the main house is your cabin?

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