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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Mazarita I benefit in two ways - getting the exercise from doing it and completely taking my mind off my own stuff. But am very tired afterwards - yesterday I had a sleep not long after doing it. These days I use a pretty simple structure for the massage, nowhere near as many remedial techniques as I used to do. But they do pop into my mind while I'm doing it sometimes. Another situation where memory issues and lack of confidence become very apparent.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good morning @Mazarita, @eth, @Bunniekins, @outlander, @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I used to say, 'I've never met a massage I didn't like', lol (until I had one that left bruises!) But I'm sure that what you did for bro was very rewarding for him, even if you feel like it was less than at your optimum. How many people have a masseur on tap in their home? Pretty good resident to have, I'd say!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi to you too @Shaz51 hope your day is starting well.

@Mazarita They should never leave bruises! I don't believe the adage that 'this pain is good for you' - I find that going repeatedly over a trouble area lets me get in deeper each time, and that way I'm not working against the contraction that pain causes.

Ironically I don't get massages myself. Haven't for many years. When I did I frequently just found it an exercise in frustration - never what I knew would be a better way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Shaz51. I saw today that there is more rain headed your way. How are things where you are at the moment?

@eth, what a pity you can't enjoy massages yourself. C gave me a fantastic neck and shoulder massage yesterday, just through clothes. He tends to say no when I offer to massage in return, has never enjoyed massages as much as me and others I know. We both sometimes give little massages to our friend too, who is in a lot of daily pain. Yes, I never repeated the bruising experience and actually texted the masseur about it. It was a bit awkward. He was a student of massage and quite cocky about his skills, also the son of a friend I see only occasionally, so I see him from time to time too and it feels a bit awkward on the social level now that I complained about his massage.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

They should never leave bruises! -- on gave me lots of bruises @eth, @Mazarita

it took me years to have another one , and i only did it again because I won one

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think it's good that you told him @Mazarita Hopefully he adjusted his techniques as a result of your feedback. So many massage therapists are cocky, especially younger ones - it p*ss*s me off! They go around saying 'this is what you need' and touching people without an invitation. That's why I only do it if I am asked to.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You too, @Shaz51. Can understand why you didn't have one for some time after that. Mine was a very painful massage too, and I kept telling him how painful it was, to little effect.

@eth, your approach sounds so much more respectful and helpful.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 Good morning Shaz! 🙂

@Shaz51@Mazarita@eth@outlander@Appleblossom I would hate to have a massage ... I hate the feeling of another persons hads on my body.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Each to their own @Bunniekins it's not for everyone I agree. I'm not ok with most people touching me either. That's why it's ironic that it was my career for so long.

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