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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, C is a bit like that too. It's not for everyone.

@eth, it is ironic that it was your career when you feel that way.

Today is my first day of the new meds, take them later tonight. Probably won't affect me too much the first week or so.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita good luck with the new meds. Hope your adjustment to them is gentle on you.

I think the reason I could do it, and do it well if I say so myself (positive feedback from people I worked on), was that I was really good at giving but no good at receiving. I think the same is true of many carers. I knew I could be trusted but I could rarely trust others. But also I used to be better at receiving than I've been since my last assault. I went through a long phase of networking with the few I trusted and having one for every ten I gave.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Oh Maz cannot wait to hear how your new meds go. Will be interesting to see if you start losing a drastic amount of weight. Fingers crossed it all works out the way you hope. xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. I might go offline now to get myself dressed before midday and get off this computer chair. I hope you enjoy the rest of the day.

@Bunniekins, snap, I think we posted at the same time. Had to reply before leaving. This new med is not known for weight loss. The first aim is to stabilise the weight, rather than see it slowly rising. I think the whole change of meds thing is going to be a very slow process for weight loss. Mainly I just don't want to end up 70kg heavier in 10 years. If I do lose weight, that would be a big bonus.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Have a great afternoon Maz xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita Sounds like a beautiful day out near and in the water.

Its early afternoon here. Adjusted to daylight saving ..having relaxing mornings.

@eth Zombie Time ha ha!

Funny you are all talking about massage. I was giving myself a massage on my head and neck and stretching. Great you gave your bro one

@Bunniekins Love your post about your ex ... he is a great guy .. he is bad .. a man of contradictions!

I felt high moral pressure to get a long with my ex but recently I fessed up to son about some of what was going on and my son said they were conversations we had to have. It was better to be honest with my kidault, becasue then he understood my hesitancies about the father.

Its the start of a week alone, which I am looking forward to getting various stuff sorted.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Haha! Well he was getting rather amorous and considering he has a gf ... who I know for a fact he was playing around with when I was psychotic and we were married!!!!

Besides I like being single and I really do not want a man in my life to tie me down when I want to do so many things once I get myself sorted. I like being an independent pea.

Are you in a similar situation Appleblossom?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Been single for 18 years @Bunniekins Took that long to get better from the marriage.

I have a thing about sexuality being confused with evil .. I guess it had such serious ramifications in my family .. I cant even do it joking ..

My ex does not get amorous with me. Civil and businesslike. We spent more time together recently due to issues with my son. We have both agreed its best the separation remains.

I like the idea of a good relationship but am not sure ... of the chances ... it will work ... so moving on with doing things that self actualising for me ...at least it is clear satisfaction rather that worrying about ... he loves me ... he loves me not ... such energy waster.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom I agree totally with what you have said. Interesting your comment about sexuality being confused with evil ... I was talking with Darcy before and my main voice is very sado (can I say that here) with me and the thing is I like it when I am very sick. I am going to bring it up with my new pdoc ... i figure as long as I stay away from men and keep up with my meds (so I dont hear my voice) I will be fine.

Being an independent woman can be scary but being in a relationship when you are not well I think, for me anyway, is not a good thing for my head or my heart.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Being independent gave me more clarity about interpersonal friendship and professinal relationships.

I do not regret it.

It can be scary, but just try and make the wisest decisions for your circs.

For me that whole sex/evil issue is tied up with my mother's extreme religiosity, my siblings suicides and the abuse of my father in the orphanage in the 30s... hence all the heavy MI labels .... so its HUGE.

Good to talk with you @Bunniekins I am logging off now. Talk later.

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