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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending more peaceful feelings to you throughout the day, @Former-Member

@Shaz51, I haven't seen your photo of lemongrass either, but I know how wildly it can grow as C used to have some. He used to make tea with it.

@Former-Member. Niqua, hugs for the bad dreaming. I know many people on the forum suffer from night torments. I'm often reluctant to share stories about my dreams because of that. But the fact is I've always loved dreams. Even when they have unpleasant aspects to them (which last night's dream did too - I was very sick in the dream for one part of it)... but somehow I don't feel the same as I would in real life if that happened. I tend to be able to view them on waking more symbolically than as though they were real. Having said that, I have had very bad nightmares too that I was totally involved in and still felt that way on waking, so I have a sense of how hard it is to suffer with that. Especially hard for you and others who experience that frequently. I'm glad for your sake that you stopped remembering them. That only really happens with me when I am into the green in a big way. At the moment I am very sober (and plan to give up completely from March 1). For me the return of my dreaming is a blessing. I feel like only half a person without them really.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Can't see it yet @Shaz51 We have lemongrass here too which has taken ages but is looking healthy now.

Hi @Former-Member I had a laugh about you dancing around your tree

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita my dreams always returned when I got off the green too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm going offline for a while now. It's been a wonderfully social morning on the forum but I need a break. Thanks for being here everyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ok @Mazarita , see you after

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi all ☺ Hope the day has been kind to everyone.

@Former-Member I read your post from this morning with a heavy heart, imagining what you might be going through. While I don't know the ins and outs of what is going on for you, I can hear how hard it is for you at the moment and I'm sending you lots of these 💕 for that.

You asked whether anyone else feels like flying away sometimes and my answer is also a yes. I think of escape to another life often. I don't know what more to say to that as I think imagining escape might mean different things for different people. It's a bit of a red flag feeling for me, though I also think it's a perfectly normal response to overload and/or stuck. While it stays as a feeling and doesn't turn into any kind of emotion driven action or behaviour, I'm ok with it. Again, that's me though and maybe it's different for you. Really I just wanted to send you big hugs and thoughts.

@Mazarita I am very much looking forward to seeing your jumper! Even hearing that part of your plan today involved trying to share it on the forum made me smile heaps. Love the idea of wild dreams too ☺

I hope your rest day has been a good one for you today. I had one of them also as there were some extra hands on board in a way which is so welcome and seriously needed right now. I stayed in my pjs almost all day and played with crafty things, listening to music. Ideally I'd love to actually get away for the day and night on my own (I really badly need a proper breather I think), but this was the next best thing to that.

@eth good to hear you had fun last night. Hope however you spent the rest of your day, it felt good for you.

@Shaz51 hope you, your mum and Mr Shaz had a good day. Crossing my fingers for Mr Shaz also ☺ I think I found your lemongrass the other day but maybe wasn't logged in at the time. Your garden photos are awesome - it must be a lovely place.

Hoping the heat hasn't been too hard for you @Former-Member (and you also @Mazarita). Love the naked dancing by the tree idea! I don't know how much my neighbours would appreciate it if I did that but I hope it worked for you 😁

These for anyone who'd like them 💗💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear glad to hear you had some space for just you today. I remember too well how rare it was to get that sort of break when I was a single mum. My kid is now 29 years old. Can you get respite from your state's carers organisation? If any of your kids have disability or special needs you're probably eligible for it.

I had pretty low energy today but at least I knew there was a good reason for it.

back to you

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth ☺ Thanks for understanding - it can be hard on your own for sure. I'm stuck in a bit of a gap with the kids where the only option aside from the one person who can maybe help me with some respite and who did last time (but that comes with a whole different set of 'stuff'), are calls I don't want to make. On a technicality they'd be possibly eligible for a break from me which doesn't sit well with me for a few reasons. I'm working on it but the system sucks sometimes.

Hope the lack of energy has been ok enough for you.

Thanks for listening ❤

(Gotta do the dinner thing now)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hear you @CheerBear sometimes the system really does suck. It's hard to get a break that doesn't come with 'stuff'. Catch you another time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I’m here but haven’t got much to say. Just dropping in and catching up. My mood is a bit whacked today which isn’t helping.......not bad just fluctuating lots (as opposed to flatulating lots which I think it often does too 😜😝🤣). So also writing this just bought out my silly mood 🤦‍♀️

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