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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member, I don't feel you are being melodramatic at all. I would be very frightened if I had the same news. I am concerned, but that's natural. I care about what happens to you. You are free to voice your concerns, as you need to or wish to. I didn't feel your talk about death was any kind of threat. I hope you will be back chatting away very soon. Please keep talking if it is helpful over the the next few days (and into the future). Will be thinking of you and hoping to hear further news from Monday also.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, I'm so sorry to hear about your news around your health. It must be terribly overwhelming and an awful time. I'm so glad you have the Forums, and in particular @Mazarita available for support.

Just a gentle reminder that these forums are peer led, not moderator led. For the most part, if you have another member available for support we try not to jump in. Of course- given this kind of news I understand it would have been kind to hear from us as well- and the minute I read what has gone on last night I have done so. I will provide the feedback to Nik etc to make any relevant changes as some of the newer mods in particular are unsure when it's appropriate to jump in. I hope you understand

Available for support today @Former-Member if you are around to chat. Sending you so much positivity and calm. Take care today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have been listening along @Former-Member @Mazarita after waking during the night and stopping by the forums, unable to sleep for an hour or so .....

I could see that @Mazarita was supporting you @Former-Member, and the discussion was distressing and personal, so I didn’t want to intrude .... can’t remember now whether I dropped a Like in there somewhere to let you know I was around, but want you to know now that I hear you and I am so sad for your situation, but hopeful too, as is Maz .....

Sending reams of cyber hugs, and hoping you reach out here through it all .... the ups, downs and sideways. I really don’t know how I would have coped without the forums. Please know we are here for you .....

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita, Claire @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope and Everyone 🙂
Wishing you all smiles today 🙂
It is great news that you woke more at peace today Mazy! :D! I'm so glad you've let go a bit of yesterdays debacle, it's really exhausting being stuck in that obsessive state ❤️
I haven't had the cramps for years now, ever since I started avoiding Gluten {which sometimes feels like I just have to avoid food 'cause gluten is in almost everything!!:)} I have used a stomach/gut medication, it starts with B - I wonder if it's the same one?
I imagine I would have to give you some intensely graphic information to even turn your head a little ;), which makes you kind of bullet-proof in conversations, which makes it easier on those talking to you - cause they don't have to worry about how they say things, so long as there's no malice intended they'll be none taken 🙂
I'm glad to hear you may see another specialist in due course, your condition puts you through enough! There is more than one Doctor or specialist of any kind, it is still a business and your the customer - though there are limits in the health care system, it might be worth having a look at an appointment with another doctor for a 2nd opinion, you may find that a doctor with a better personality and equal or better medical skills is available?
I hope the treatment he has suggested for you gives you relief, and that further treatments help to repair the immunity malfunction a little to stop the cruel process taking place.
I'm just catching up with things . . . I'm sorry your friend didn't find a place in time; but it's good that she's settled {did I read that her 60yo Sister has taken a mattress on the floor? {Please ignore if I'm remembering wrong :D} so the search can continue, with your help, to find the right place - it's better than finding the wrong place, 'cause then you have to find another, pack everything up & do it all again!
The forum pace is definitely higher than my writing pace, I'm busily clicking 'like' buttons as posts are coming through & I'm still blubing 'Good Mornings' 😄 🙂 I've just read that you have only had a few hours of sleep, no wonder your tired! Hope you get some more before your psychiatrist appointment today after lunch; I know you like your psychiatrist & find the appointments very helpful - so 'Good One!', let a bunch of stuff out if you can 😉 . . . and I hope you get to the beach, after having released all the tension, including some of the extra-physical tension, being a Human being struggling through our insane society brings; and you can relax & see the vast expanse of water, it's constant motion - that has nothing to do with man, and take in the beauty of our Planet 🙂

Every seagull, every feather you find on the beach, is delivering my love to you ❤️
Niqua


I'm glad your not as bad as what you were Claire, that you get some ok time now ❤️ I really feel for your constant struggle, particularly with sleep {which I think has a lot of causes in stress}, as I feel without it my brain never gets the chance to process everything - I spiral. To be stuck in that spiral I think is like being stuck in hell. So I encourage you to never give up - never give up trying to find what works for you, guiding your life to the best place it can be. Those Ok times are like finding a ledge on a downward spiralling chasm, sometimes when you there you can see a higher ledge you can get to; never stop climbing up those ledges until you find the one that's right for you; the one where you feel the most secure, where you can relax the best and is in the best position for you ❤️
I haven't found the tag to 'catch-up' yet, could you put it in again? I would not like being in hospital, I have never been admitted; I have had experiences of being restrained overnight - I don't do 'locked-up' very well; so I understand you not wanting to go to hospital, but I do understand recognizing that you have to do something when your brains processes are malfunctioning - so although I don't know what happened, I'm proud of you for being able to recognize that ❤️

I've just read that you don't have any plans for the day . . .

'It's not just the sounds of Earth touched by hooves
as I sit on the old felled tree, I can feel how they move
through the age stone-hardened bark grooves'

{if you don't feel like words today - maybe you can draw me that picture}

Never stop nagging me my beautiful cyber grandgirl and never give up 🙂 ❤️
Nanny Niqua



I know how important sleep is to me Faith-and-Hope, so sorry to hear yours was broken {all my friends are struggling with sleep . . . and it's the norm for them!} but glad to hear your okay 🙂 ❤️ I hope there are plenty of smiles in you full day today 🙂 I haven't been keeping up, perhaps you could tag me into your best thread to do so - where are you leaving to later this week?
Love to you Faith
Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Afternoon Niqua

sleep is a hard one, I need it but im scared of it at the same time or rather what comes when I do sleep. But slowly getting there. Kepeing up with a sleep routine and sleep meds when im allowed to take them. Yes Niqua, exactly it is hell being here and every ok moment is like a breather before getting pushed back into the tornado again. I see youve found my tag 🙂

I think youve caught up with the latest going by all your 'likes' to know what happened........

no not many plans for today at all. Ive caught up with a few more house chores and have to do the horses later on today.

Ive got to find what you wanted me to draw- im trying to think of what to write in your poem. So will see which one comes first hey!

lots of love to you @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good afternoon, @Former-Member. Back from seeing my psychiatrist and wanted to stop in now that I'm awake properly and see how you are. Have you had some sleep since we were chatting last night. How are you feeling today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good evening, Niqua

Yes, I think the medication starting with B is probably the one I was thinking of.

I may see a different gastroenterologist. But first I will continue for a little while with what he suggested and also talk to my GP about it all.

Yes, you read right. My friend's 60 year old sister is sleeping on a blow up mattress on the floor for the time my friend is staying with her.

I didn't end up going to the beach today, but that's okay. I will try again tomorrow. Fact is my shoulders are still peeling from sunburn I got last time I went out last week so need to be careful too. So true about the magnificence of the ocean, that covers the majority of our beautiful planet. I will think of you out there next time when the seagulls fly near.

How are you feeling at this point in the week or so after your trip away, dear friend?@Former-Member

I've kind of crashed this afternoon after the big social day with my friend yesterday. She was with me for 8 hours, a longer than usual visit for us. It's actually a great rarity for my friend to visit here. Because of her physical limitations, she believed she would not be able to make it up the stairs here. And so, until recently, has not visited for the almost four years we have been here. Since going through the gruelling process of moving out of her last place (especially gruelling for her, with health and mobility issues), she actually seems to be fitter and even more mentally alive. I'm so impressed with how she's handling this highly stressful time of being without a home base. She's been to visit here twice since staying at her sister's place. I found myself excited and nervous to be the host, instead of the other way around. I'm also very used to it being just C and I here, and me alone during most of the days. Guests are rare in general. So I expended a lot more nervous energy than usual on the occasion of my friend's long visit yesterday.

I was tired on waking this morning, even after a bit more sleep this morning. But knowing I had my psychiatrist appointment, I got myself showered, dressed and ready, and C drove me to the hospital, where my psychiatrist's consulting room is. It was a great session, as is often the case. I find myself in agreement with him on many of his philosophical approaches to life, aside from his specific treatment of me. We talked today about 'quality of life' being more important than whether or not we attain the goals we set ourselves. And many other things. I was happy to be able to tell him that I am feeling much improved on the new dose of anti-depressants. Will see him again in a month, just before I go south interstate to see Mum, old friends and other family for three weeks.

Slept again this afternoon. Still tired, but the cool of evening, with its gentle breeze coming through the glass doors, is like a caress.

Hope @everyone here finds something to be glad about this evening.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita

Thank you so very much for your support last night..

I was in such utter shock....was struggling and you helped me..

I read the link and felt more reassured...this is all unknown to me..

just the word tumour sent me spiralling..I have lost so many friends..family to cancer...

twin currently having her own tests..I jumped into automatic assuming..

did ot go back to sleep..had go appointment this morning..managed to get emergency appointment after ringing back and insisting..I told her that specialists cannot fit me in according to checking every day with go for an appointment..if neurosurgeon said urgent then must be

She finally listened..told me that she should not be doing and would get in trouble with office mgr!

gp said this morning was definitely urgent and was glad I went..

very lazy day,,drained..will try to get some sleep shortly..

lovely that you had visit with friend and also feeling improvement with your medication..

thanks also all others for kind thoughts..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member, so glad to hear from you today.

Wonderful that you feel a little reassured.

I too would be very worried if I was in your situation, would no doubt lose sleep and be as fearful. It's a natural response, especially given that you have lost others to cancer.

I recently spent time with a new friend, a poet, who is also an identical twin. Both twins have genetic kidney disease. My friend related how different the health paths of each twin have been, which seems to be down to different life experiences and lifestyle choices. His brother is close to needing kidney transplant at this point. Whereas my friend is travelling well, though still somewhat limited by his illness. I tell you this just to suggest that, even in the case of twins, outcomes can be quite different.

Again, I marvel at your capacity to jump into action and advocate on your own behalf, even somewhat forcefully, to take care of your health in this emergency situation. It's great that you had the GP appointment this morning. And I am very relieved to hear that your GP has now acknowledged the urgency of things and is on board with you.

A very lazy day sounds like just what was needed, in order to recover some balance from the nervous shock of yesterday. I hope you sleep soundly when you get there, and that you feel even just a little bit better when you wake again.

Sending loads of gentle hugs, strength and love.

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