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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita

I have had a day of shock basically..

I have had mixed conversations with husband who is now in bed

I had appointment with cardiologist whom relayed alost perfect heart..

then said other discovery from ctca.

tumour in nerve endings of thoracic a of spine.ell..shock

for me this is overload

to be told to make urgent appointment with neurologist

well seem to be non existent

Rang my normal gp clinic even though urgent told following week booked out..

after many calls to cardiologist?perspective neurologist apparently neurosurgeon

got urgent appointment on Monday and reassurance from a very young girl do not freak out.. He is the best

how do I feel ?I pay exorbitant amount for private health insurance..

who followed up.. Who investigated? I did

fortunately I looked at hospitals and went backwards and encountered a lovely young girl who realised the urgency and booked an appointment for me on Monday?..the tumour is large..

I then had to face the hardest point getting an appointment for a referral even though I expressed that Ctca results were there..

well that leads us back to what a crummy medical system we have?none of these people are aware that I currently suffer severe symptoms of mental illness..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, I'm in shock with you to hear this news. I will take a moment to collect my thoughts and write more. For now, know that I am here and will stay with you for at least an hour should you not be able to sleep and want to keep talking. I know it's an inadequate response to what you are saying, but I am mentally sending you hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I was just about to apologise. Last thing you needed to hear.

haha last thing I needed

I did get closer connection with twin whom is waiting for results of bone marrow tissue and blood tests results as well as biopsy of bone marrow

we are holding back telling our mum 91 even though we have made pact to tell everything..when spoke to her yesterday she told me that her friend next door..same age died yesterday morning because she did not want to be around...mum said she totally understood..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, your shock is natural. It is overload to get news like this for anyone, let alone someone as sensitive as you, and with mental health issues. I find it appalling that your cardiologist left you to do all the follow up yourself, having just received this frightening news. Especially given that you are unable to see your GP immediately, who would normally be the one to handle referrals and follow up. How appalling too that your GP was not immediately available for such an emergency.

You have done exceptionally well under these awful circumstances getting the appointment with a neurologist/neurosurgeon on Monday. Please take that young secretaries advice as much as possible and find some relief if possible in the knowledge that this doctor sounds like one of the best.

So you may be in hospital on Monday too, it seems. Again, the failure of the doctors to be available to provide referral is such very poor treatment.

The overall sense of what I am saying is that, yes, the doctors leaving you so much on your own resources is bad treatment. But you have done an outstanding job of caring for yourself by getting the appointments on Monday.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, no apologies. I simply feel for you going through this now.

It seems wise to hold back telling your mum for now.

How sad that she feels that way about life. She may be grieving her friend and feeling lower than usual?

I'm sure it's not easy being 91.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you so much @Mazarita

@my twin has gone through same scenario with her issue which has more implications..

basically I do not care about me..which is devastating for my sons even though one is I reachable .. My husband .. A widower when I met him ..Despite his greedy offspring does not deserve this.. I am very connected with nature and spirituality and feel that this is my time..please do not take this the wrong way..I trust you and feel that yourself and @eth will understand

I do not want treatment..I have seen what it did to my twin and many friend whom I have lost..

I am so happy that I reconnected with you..

I have been lost on the forums ..people upset by my honesty..

so thank you so much

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, I respect your feeling that this may be your time.

But I did just read something about this and it seems such a tumour can be malignant in some cases, more commonly benign. Do you have any physical symptoms that you feel relate to it?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just to add to my last message, @Former-Member, I suppose my voice or reason always overrides my own feelings of connection to nature and spirituality. And I look for best possible outcomes as much as I can.

There's no doubt this is a serious issue. But I want to just insert a small opening to the possibility that this is not the end.

Having said that, I have contemplated my own mortality a lot in my life and think it's good to be accepting of it as part of life.

I too am happy to reconnect with you. Thank you for being here.

p.s. this is one of the articles I read:

http://columbiaspine.org/condition/schwannoma

It seems to be a reliable source, but may not be the condition you have.

EDIT: I see that you are offline now, @Former-Member. I hope you get some gentle sleep tonight now. I will try for the same.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank goodness for you..

it appears that I do not rate attention from a moderator

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I did not mean to come across as melodramatic

thankyounfor your reply

moderators do not reply to me

nomsurprise there.

I am too forthright with my responses.

thank you for all of your kind words.

please take care of youself

I will be fine ..did not mean to cause you concern...voicing my thoughts only

I would not do that to you or anyone else..sorry if you felt that

I will rest now and contemplate..I sincerely appreciate all of your kindness and help

will probably be back sooner than you think chatting away

thank you

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