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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita

Your compassion shines through,,

I know that you have had a very difficult life yet your heart and soul are filled with love and empathy..

I cannot respond to all of the threads and feel a little remiss.. Do not want people to think that I am not thinking of them..I am..

just have little energy

thank you again for welcoming me into this safe sanctuary....

is helping far more than you could possibly know..

goodnight precious lady.

Big hug..

I have my teddy bear..I have quite a few...this particular one is small and thin with moveable body parts..he reminds me of the teddy bear I had growing up..His fur was worn away from all the cuddling..

psychologist told me I am using this as a form of grounding..

goodnight hope that you have a restful night and some sound sleep also

the fan is on by the way. Xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, please don't worry about supporting others on the forum especially now, at this crisis moment. All care given to looking after yourself at this time is more than appropriate.

It made me smile to think of your teddys helping you to ground and feel comforted.

So you are another of us who likes the fan when we sleep. I find the breeze from it soothing and, as @catgirl has also mentioned, the white noise seems to smooth out all those little sounds that can give alarm in the night.

Sleep well now and be rested.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member 💜💙💚💛❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @outlander, @catgirl, @whitedog, @Former-Member, @Bunniekins, @Shaz51 and @everyone

Sending cheerful morning vibes to all for this new day.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning everyone ❤ ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Goodmorning to @outlander@Mazarita@Former-Member@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Sans911 (hope you are doing okay today Sans911) @Former-Member wishing everyone a wonderful day full of kindness and hope xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Same to you @Bunniekins,you should've been a "sweetpea".

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member thanks Li1 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone .... ☕️💕

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita, Claire @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope, Sis @Former-Member, and Everyone 🙂

I'm very glad your focusing on the things you like Bella, everybody has things they don't like and it doesn't make them feel good focusing on them 😉 I'm focusing on my quiet little home being exactly how I like it . . . quiet 🙂 {I've even been playing my computer games with the sound off :)}
Hoping your furry friends and the natural World gives you plenty of positives to see today ❤️

My poor Claire, I was a lot like you, I was afraid of dreaming, which made me afraid of sleeping; when I was a child. It affected everything, not just my schooling . . . everything. Like your doing now, I slowly got there; not only did I see how unhealthy and unhappy my 'waking pattern' was, I finally realized how strongly and strictly I must guard my 'sleep pattern'. I guess medications worked for me, though I use herbal, non-addictive, not prescribed ones + a time schedule, a routine that I make myself do. I'm pretty vaugue with it, Pumpkin hour is midnight & that's time to go to bed, even if I'm not tired and just lay in the quiet dark and close my eyes. I have an alarm on my phone for 8am, I usually wake before then, but if I don't the alarm makes sure I do 🙂 That way if I don't get to sleep till later, I'll be good & tired that night. I've got another rough estimated time I call Potaoe hour, it's midday & though I haven't been very good with it lately, I try to get off the computer at that hour & do something else . . . anything else 🙂
I'm so sorry the Tornado is flinging you about so much ❤️ I did catch-up with your thread, Thank-you for the tag 🙂 Your life has been and is a struggle, as everybodies is, your struggle has put particular pressure on the physical processes of your brain; in some ways you are stronger than those who have not been through such pressures, in other ways I think it weakens abilities, for instance in the social skills area. But your brain is now developed/geared for the constant physical pressure of your families stress; like the saying goes we all have our strengths and our weakenesses, your strength in such a chaotic situation at such constant levels, is greater than mine ❤️ I still believe you'll make it, you'll find your ledge where you have security and comfort, you'll find happiness and contentment; Your made of tougher stuff girl, you'll find you way, I believe in you! ❤️
I want you to draw me, what you want to draw - but I had in mind an old log in a paddock, with maybe the hooves and flurry of tail of some horses galloping by. But I really like the araua of the Eagle and Wolf, though I'd like a Unicorns head. I think you said you couldn't do one of those, . . . but maybe something similar with a Unicorns head? . . . the whole image really does suit the whole 'spirit being lifted' perfectly!:)! With the poem, I think I just find paddocks peaceful. You don't have to - I'm just making a suggestion - but I'd love to hear your poetic interpretation of the 'Ok times', the breather moments.
Sending you love and Nanny hugs ❤️
Niqua


How are you feeling today Mazy? Does the treatment give you relief quickly or does it take time, days or weeks? I think by the amount you needed to 'get out' about it, it was really 'getting to' you; & I don't think that sort of discomfort goes away overnight. Sending you comforting and healing energy ❤️
Your friend may be getting a boost from having such truely caring people in her life 🙂 The whole experience might even end up improving things for her 😄
That magnificent body of water, with all those fluttering reminders that someone is grateful for you, has another magical trick; it's always there, waiting patiently, never going away 🙂 But here's a friendly nag . . . SLIP, SLOP, SLAP!!! girl!!!
Thank-you for asking how I'm feeling ❤️ I expected a huge crash when I got home - it hasn't happened. The phone calls have started nightly again, though they're awkward and shorter; there are moments already where the conversation lifts a little. My child is sounding so obviously depressed, yet just as obviously trying to hide it. Some of the awkwardness I think comes from me feeling guilty that I abandoned my child! Stranded them like that! But then I have to remind myself that I did not put them in that position, they guided their own life to the point that it is at now; I have to trust that they can guide it to a better point for their own sake!
It doesn't surprise me that your tired any morning! I think because regular broken sleep is the norm for you, you don't have the recent experience of regular consecutive houred nights sleep to compare it with 😉 You have quite an endurance about you woman!
OOOooo the Rubber Ducky is sparkley!!! I'm glad you had a great session with your Doctor and the new medication is helping 🙂 If only you could find a Gastroenterologist that you found yourself agreeing with all the time and prescribed helpful stuff 😉
Ohhh! 3 weeks with family didn't work out to well for me, and I know when your Mum visited it was a little stressful - and you'll be dealing with the whole 'being away from home and familiar things' syndrome! But I hope your looking forward to it, because there is that exciting 'going somewhere different' touch to it & the change of faces & scenery to look at and voices & sounds to listen to 🙂
It's been warm here, I even put the generator on yesterday as by the afternoon it was 37 degrees. Didn't walk the critters until nearly 7pm last night! I don't think I've blurted-on about my trip to the Weir the other day. I discovered I'd been paid {3 days prior, I just hadn't noticed - my whole routine's a bit out of whack}, so I decided I'd go shopping as I was low on quite a few items. Every time I go out I think of possible places to walk the dogs, as I can't let the young fella walk free on my property since the neighbour chained him up. I go to the next town over to do my grocery shopping as it has a Woolworths & getting there takes me past my favourite Weir. I decided that I would take just the little fella with me shopping {the young fella gets too bored in the back and just has to do things like chew a carton of ciggerettes!! and the likes} and that we would swing back past my favourite Weir to see if they'd finished the bridge work that they've been doing for months on end now!! So I did that & it was open, which meant I could even get to my favourite side {I'd come to the Weir a couple of times while the bridge-work was still happening (after hours), but wasn't game to cross over to my favourite side whilst it was still unfinished} The little fella and I went for a little walk & I finally encouraged him to step into the water, he didn't swim, but he went far enough in to wet his belly 😄 I went back home, unpacked the shopping and did eventually return with the young fella. But on the way there I got lost {I was trying to return without the GPS gadget, I eventually had to turn it on :)} and got a flat tyre! It took me forever to change it, I couldn't find the handle for the jack, I had to use a tent peg; I couldn't find the spanner for the spare tyre bracket, I had to use a pair of multi-grips; I had to take the cushion from my drivers seat and sit on the ground, going at Grannies pace!!! A few cars drove past, no-one stopped. Finally changed it, we got to the Weir & had a lovely walk, finally got the young fella into the water, he loved it! & had a great swim 😄
I washed and rinsed the car yesterday, have to do the insides today. I'll have to take it in & get a couple of new tyres & get it's maintenance done - it's due & I think the Universe is doing it's best to remind me 😄
Lots of love to you Mazy
Niqua

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