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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope, not sorry I asked, just sorry that you are going through these difficult times. I'm guessing that the support people are seeking answers for the state of things by perhaps exploring possible dysfunction all round in the family. No excuse for being nasty to you though. Deep breaths, yes. Look forward to catching up later.

@eth, I noticed your 'likes', that you are online about now. Feel like a little chat?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita I'm glad to hear your mind has settled somewhat and you're feeling clear about talking with your GP. Hoping your visit from your friend is productive for her and takes your mind off what happened yesterday for a while.

Home alone this morning just pottering on-line and reading a bit of my latest book. Last night was a challenge as I bit the bullet and told my brother I'm still smoking a bit (tho' much less than I did). I had been anxious about telling him all day with cyclic thoughts and anticipation of his response, but I knew I needed to be honest about it as he (again) mentioned my giving up to visitors the night before. It felt ridiculous and was a source of high anxiety about being caught when I was being secretive about it - at my age! I know I need to tackle it but haven't been strong enough to kick the last few. At least he clarified that he'd been joking when he told a few people in front of me that I'd have to move out if I kept doing it. He was very direct about all the reasons to stop and I could only agree with him.

Thinking of you today xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hoping your appointment goes better than expected @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, feeling for you with the sense of sneaking 'out the back of the shelter sheds', like at school, to have a smoke. It sounds like you have really reduced to a large extent though. Give yourself credit there. By the way, it may amuse you to know that my 82 year old mum also lies to her brother (who is a semi-carer) about smoking. And she is still a chain smoker! She's misled him about the smoking for years, to avoid the nagging (they live at a distance). I think you are rocking it and will get to abstinence very soon.

Sorry to cut this short but my friend just rang to say she is very close to here, so need to go again. Hope your day is kind and peaceful and rewarding.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope

Excuse me for interrupting ..

what does the term gas lighting mean?

mohill

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member ......

Easiest to post the dictionary meaning ......

gaslight

verb

manipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ah yes @Faith-and-Hope

@have lived with a narcissist

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Are you there @Mazarita

are you ok?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member. Yes, I'm here now and am more than okay. It's been a good day today. A bit overexcited at times with shallow breathing happening that I struggled to calm. But, it settled. And now I feel fine.

How are you going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Are you okay, @Former-Member?

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