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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope it goes ok today @Mazarita and you don't overheat too much. Don't forget to drink plenty of water.

Sorry for the delay, a friend rang me.

I hear you @Bunniekins My Mum's 77 and is prone to stop suddenly in the middle of traffic, change lanes on top of people going faster than she is , use her phone while driving, reverse into things, ........... etc.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. I will remember the water throughout the day. Hope the next stage of your travel goes well. I'm going to lie down until my friend rings me. Hope your day is good too, @Bunniekins.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning and Happy New Year @Mazarita and @eth ..... if I haven’t said it already ...... have lost track a bit.

I am spending a few days with my Dad ..... peaceful in the country ...... there’s a crow giving his morning oration out there somewhere ....,, and distant traffic sounds from the regional highway.

It’s warm already ....,

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope Enjoy your break in the country. Hope your days there are refreshing for you and all goes well with your Dad.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth 😊 ..... nothing like your country adventures, but certainly relaxing and quiet.

Hi @Appleblossom 👋 .... I see you there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-HopeGlad you have time with your dad. You enjoy a change from the stress at home. (Or maybe its just a different kind of stress.)

@BunniekinsI know a lot of people around 80 choose or are enforced to have limited driving. Eg within a 10 mile radius. There are accidents caused by elderly through medical issues. If she deliberately uses mobile phone when driving, she needs to have a think about it. Police are watching out for it. Sometimes when they get bad relatives report them for a check up. My mother was reported by a boarder in her house whom she was clashing with. She was annoyed at having her liberty taken, but it meant that in last 5 years she was safer for herself and others on road. 2 80 yo friends simply choose to limit themselves.

@ethI really enjoyed reading about your New Year experience. It grounded me and just made me feel happier. Maybe one day you can share with an Aboriginal elder, that even just sharing amongst friends is helping break down barriers, even tho may not feel it or know it. There is hope and reconciliation does happen.

@MazaritaYour tongue poke re being up late really hit home in a good way. Our company during the nights when we first joined forum was life saving for me. I have now had a year where I am more less back to daylight waking and did not fel the urge to be UP this NYE. It was also good in that that year up at night was mild and kind and steady and companionable. Not manic or fleeting.

Sad your friend will be more distant, but maybe you can have more sleepovers.

I am conflicted as usual, but have started a project yesterday which is grounding, musical and wonderfully historic and creative. Cant tell about it til it is over, but its "helping." Feel I have begun the new year with new fresh very positive energy irl. It helps balance other issues.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Appleblossom .....

My only stress here is trying to spend time with my sister, as I have just written on another thread, but it’s limited, and still important ..... so that’s okay.

Your new project sounds intriguing .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love the onamatapoetic assonance of

the crows oration.

Lovely to see you @Faith-and-Hope gotta go.

Morning All

Notice that Please

I am up before midday and off to work.

CHEERS ALL

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Happy new year @eth, @Mazarita

will be thinking of you @eth and have a safe trip xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, I like that you are getting the time out with your dad. It sounds quiet and restorative, which seems to be something a bit rare for you. I wonder if you have been getting much time for your art lately. Happy new year to you too.

Hi @Appleblossom, I have sentimental feelings from the old days (and nights) of the forum too. Thank you for appreciating my presence for you, makes me feel good to hear that. You were central to my experience of the forum when I first joined. I often feel we are a bit like forum twins in our history and connection here (and also that we joined pretty much on the same day).

Hi @Shaz51, I hope you are now relaxing after the trip. How is today treating you, scottish sister?

Hi everyone, good vibes for the rest of the day and evening.

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