FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

2,831 - 2,840 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth! I missed you in just a few days.

How totally wonderful your new year sounds! The community sounds so great, it's brilliant you get to be a part of it. Sending good wishes for managing anxieties and frustrations when with your mum. If I had a magic wand, I'd wish them dissolved into happier feelings. And I get it, how it can be with our mums, even as we are getting older, and they are too.

I'm okay this morning but haven't slept since 2.30am. Not sure I'm going to get much more either. C'est la vie.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Dear Eth wishing you a wonderful 2018 with kindess and love heading your way! xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Bunniekins, oh dapper one. Good to see you. 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita and @Bunniekins Nice to hear from you. Do you have plans for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth@Mazarita I have my mother coming over for a coffee. Day 3 of resolutions! heaps of water and healthy organic food, no sweet stuff unless it is an apple or banana and I have to admit it I am already feeling better for it ... How are you both doing?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, @Bunniekins, sounds good, greenpea, great start to the new year with the healthier habits. I'm okay today but running on little sleep. I think I will be helping my friend today with her last minute preparations for moving all her things into storage on friday.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita O0o0o0o... that's a big job ... will she be getting rid of stuff as well or just moving it?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds really good @Bunniekins Just typed a longer response but it disappeared. Keep up the good work. Hope you have a nice time with your Mum.

I'm going to Brisbane for 2 nights with my brother and will stay with my sister. Mum will visit this evening. She's pressuring me to go see her apartment she moved to last year even though she's house sitting elsewhere at the moment and going away early tomorrow. I'm hoping to say no to that without her making a thing of it. I really can't handle being a passenger when she drives but don't want to have to say that to her.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, it's a bit chaotic at this point, not sure what's going to be happening except that guys are coming to collect stuff for storage on friday, and there's more work to be ready for that. We have already done some work over previous weeks and she has had other help. We will be going slow at it today in any case, because that's all either of us can manage. Plus, it's going to be hot and humid today and she only has a $15 standing fan. Lol, does me good to push myself sometimes, though it can take a bit of recovery time too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth my mum drives too fast and doesnt give enough room to the car infront ... I am always nagging at her ... what can you do my mum is 82!

2,831 - 2,840 of 27,230