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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a very difficult situation for you to be in the middle of @Faith-and-Hope. What are you doing for yourself while all this is going on? You seem to be a real rock for them all to anchor to and do an amazing job of self-care at the same time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sort of the meat in the sandwich @eth ....lol ....

This is where, under pdoc advice, S2 needs to move out of home.

To do that, he needs to be engaged with life (uni studies) and able to live independently (life skills activated).

He is unable to return to uni here in wa for psychological reasons .... family and uni events culminated in a breakdown of sorts, so the campus itself is a major tigger for him now, hence the interstate “move” .... which is actually switching over from living here and holidaying there, to the other way around.

Once ensconced in uni and managing that, the next step will be to restore music lessons, finalise a drivers licence, develop a social network, and move out of home.

Behind him is coming D3, who is psychosomatic for similar reasons ..... so she too is enrolled interstate (same uni) and needs to follow the same sort of path to independence, whether than means moving out of home yet or not depends on our dynamics and whether they are counter-productive to her needs as well.

Then we see what the lay of the land is from there ....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wonderful planning and parental guidance @Faith-and-Hope. All strength to you during this process.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth ...... 💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth

Hugs for what you are going through with the skin problem at the moment. When you said more had appeared on the other side of your face, I did start to think shingles, which would not be helped by antibiotics. Hope the results and next doctor visit come around quickly so that there can be more known about what's going on and maybe better ideas of where to go next with it.

Sorry about you missing the farm trip this time. Do bro and sil know that you are so nervous when left alone at the place? I was wondering if they might consider leaving the dog for company for you.

I'm also wondering if you might be in a state of heightened anxiety in general, perhaps partly to do with giving up the smokes. If that's the case, maybe recognising it might help with dealing with it. Just a wild idea that may be off mark.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, good to get an update on your situation here. What is the diagnosis for your husband and son, if you don't mind me asking? Just curious, having been familiar with a time earlier on when neither were diagnosed. Hope the day is kind to you.

Hi @Appleblossom, @outlander, @CheerBear, @frog and everyone, sending good wishes for today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and thanks @Mazarita you may be right about the anxiety about smoking cessation, but I think it's more because of the skin problem's chance of becoming systemic. I've been trying to contact a friend who might be in town this weekend to have as a back-up person but haven't heard back from her yet.

Bro sil and dog have already left. I'll be ok during the day but more alert at night I think. that's another anxiety source.

As I understand it shingles follows the path of the nerve it appears on and also is painful. So I'm thinking it's not that so far. Mine is just itchy and the other side of the face suggests it's not on a particular nerve pathway. Did you say you'd had it at some time?

What are you up to today? How was your sleep and your night out last night I think you mentioned?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, it was suspected at one point that I had shingles but seemed not to be the case in the end. That was a mystery complaint that just came and went of its own accord.

I'm recovering today from the mammoth day yesterday (by my standards). The night out was really enjoyable. They are lovely people, an older couple who are both artists (he in music, she in visual). I was kind of spaced out and floating all day and night with the sleeplessness. But oddly I was in a really calm and good mood for the most part. Even in the car there and back, I did much better with my nerves than anticipated. Maybe I was just too tired to be fully anxious!

An okay sleep last night, broken or course, probably about six hours. Very tired still though, and still in my nightie at 11.15am our time. Just a let it happen day today I think.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita ......

Thanks for asking .....

No dx on hubby formalised (yet?) ...... son is OCPD - turned-inward form.

I have a thread going on Carers if you are interested in tracking along occasionally.

@eth, I have had shingles a couple of years ago. Caught early with anti-viral medication it was “deactivated” quickly and only lasted a couple of weeks, with each new batch of spots appearing increasingly smaller. Getting to it quickly enough is the key, but it sounds strange that it would have transferred to your hand also ..... not an expert tho .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Last night sounds lovely @Mazarita. You did well to be so calm. No wonder you're resting up today. How did you go with your friend's r.e. search yesterday?

I just heard from my friend and she said I can call on her day or night which is a huge relief. So good to have someone in this town who knows I'm alone and is willing to help. She also has PTSD and high anxiety/depression periods so she totally understands my current anxiety.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope, ah, yes, I've been reading about personality disorders in their myriad form just recently, since my psychologist has floated avoidant personality disorder for me (without actually diagnosing it, just exploring the possibility). C and I both think he may have schizotypal personality disorder. All just speculation of course. He is very lovable but often bizarre. Against diagnosing him with anything though is that he is basically functional in work and domestic life. Great that your shingles was caught quickly.

@eth, awesome that your friend is there for you! So happy you have that now to set your mind at more ease. Yesterday at friend's it was packing and moving things and just helping with stuff that was happening, like putting washing on line for her. Was there for a few hours. The unaccustomed exercise had me sweating profusely and very red but I felt good for extending myself physically like that. It wasn't actually hard work at all, but I am unused to any kind of physical labour.

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