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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope it seems to me and the first Dr I saw that it's more likely to be impetigo, which google says is staph or strep caused and highly infectios, usually involving face with neck, hands, and feet sometimes too. The 2nd Dr said staph or shingles or cold sore (the last seems unusual as I've only ever had them on my mouth and this isn't). Antibiotic cream (8th day) and oral ab's (3rd day) have been prescribed so far but don't seem to be making a difference yet. Google just added to my anxiety about it as it's possible to have ab resistant staph, and for it to become systemic. Path tests were done by the 2nd Dr on Wednesday but results won't be available til Tuesday because of the holidays. Rave on but it's helping my head to talk about it.

Sending peace to you all and a relaxed day @Mazarita and @Faith-and-Hope, @outlander @Appleblossom @CheerBear

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, just had a quick look at impetigo. Feeling for you with the wait until Tuesday. Do you have anything planned for distraction today?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad it is helping to chat @eth ......

The sort of p.d.’s that seem to be emerging here are resistant to therapy and counselling @Mazarita @eth ..... and beyond the e.d. which is complex, chameleon-like, elusive, I am having to face up to the idea that mr. f&h has set in to this state and it is unlikely to shift, and unable to be supportive or nurturing in any way.

I have, a couple of days ago, offered for us to continue as companions rather than spouses as such. Have to see where this leads, if anywhere. Thought that was established in the conversation we had, but now he appears to be making some overtures of sorts.

Still all very confusing.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita no real plans today other than a couple of small chores. Hanging out here is good. TV and reading otherwise.

@Faith-and-Hope suggesting the change in relationship basis is very brave of you. I hope that gives you some relief.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope, when I read about avoidant personality disorder, I also wondered how it would be helpful to have this diagnosis, since it too is said to be resistant to treatment and therapy. I'm so sorry it has come to this for you. Having said that, you know that C and I are companions only and have been for some years now. I have to say the relationship is a lot more peaceful and even warmer as a loving friendship than it was in the much stormier times previous. I know our situations are very different also. Hugs.

@eth, wonder what the book is that you are reading. I really wish I could get in to reading again. I've been unable to focus on books since I was first prescribed anti-psychotics, years ago. I so enjoyed doing it before that.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It has @eth. I think it can be workable. I have spent 8 years in living grief over the relationship. Time to give it up I think, and just accept / embrace our new reality.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Sorry to hear you find reading difficult these days. I"m reading Merciless Gods by Christos Tsiolkas who also wrote The Slap which I read recently. It's pretty heavy short stories but occupies my mind. I'll definitely choose something a bit lighter next.

Stay strong @Faith-and-Hope I think you are being true to yourself.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I read his 'Head On' many years ago, powerful and compelling, but yes pretty rough sometimes. I also saw the film based on 'Head On', which was good but I liked the novel better. His writing style is great. Yes, I used to gobble novels. The last bin-ge reading I did was 19th century literature, pretty much all of Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, George Eliot and others.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita The Slap was made into a series I think on ABC which you may be able to get on iView or something. Worth a watch. I'll look out for Head On.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, @Faith-and-Hope, well I've popped a dress on now and did it before midday. One step forward. I'll log off now to do some other things. Thanks for chatting here this morning.

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