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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh, that sounds pretty good, @outlander, except for the sisters and mother. Good to get some time to ourselves, I think, even though I know it's not always easy any which way. Sometimes I think being married to ourselves is the most challenging relationship of all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have a feeling Niqua may still be with her family, @outlander. I'm guessing she maybe got a bit of reception and left a quick message to us. At one time she was planning to spend a longer than usual time with family this time. Could be wrong, maybe she's being a cheeky lurker.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

im missing her @Mazarita i really hope shes having a good time though.

yep unfortunatley we cant run from ourselves can we. yeah its good to get some time to myself but im so busy with both works. ive posted ponned alot of things over chrissy so catching up with it all while pops away and dont have to worry about him for the time being- i always worry but you get what i mean.

the quiet can get us into a bit of strife sometimes too but i keep the tv on or music or something so its not entirely quiet.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Chatting here on the forum gives us a focus too, @outlander. I find that helps too, just being here sometimes. I'm going to log off now. I've been in contact with friend and I'm going over there in a couple of hours. May manage a microsleep before then. Hope the movies are good!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes it sure does @Mazarita have a good day with your friend 💕

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah thats often the way @frog

Wel

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita and others here today.

Well as I feared, I can't go to the farm today through to the New Year with bro and sil. The thing on my face still hasn't settled down and I now have a couple of small similar things on the other side of my face and on my hand. Dammit. Just too much possibility of infecting others as there will be families with children and other shareholders there and everyone shares the one kitchen and bathroom. So I'll be here by myself for at least the next few days. It will be peaceful it's true but this is only the 2nd time I've been here without the dog to alert and protect me so I'm feeling anxious.

Hoping everyone is having a quiet start to a positive day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

💜 @eth ....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope. How are you travelling?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have woken headachey this morning @eth ..... feels like a detox day coming on, which is uncomfortable but progressive.

S2’s day and night have switched around again. He came to my room to see me at 6am to see me ..... when I would usually be awake ..... waking me in the process. The good thing about that was that he came to communicate with me about it, and talk about how he intends to tackle it.

Mr. f&h is champing at the bit to do something about it, and trying to be demanding with S2 about “what he has to do to fix this” .... and herein lies our vicious cycle. S2 has to take his own responsibility and not come under mr. f&h’s authoritarian manner ..... so he either pushes back against it, thereby not doing what he needs to do in order to avoid having been instructed to do it ..... or he does a non-communicative shut-down for the same reason, and stays asleep all day.

Mr. f&h has been told to stay out of it, but he is barely able to, if at all ..... they have different presentations of the same disorder.

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