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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello and hugs @eth

Hello @Mazarita , @TAB , @outlander , @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @outlander @Zoe7 @Adge @Exoplanet and all,

Here for the first time in some weeks. I am taking a day off my usual five-days a week support activities. Part of this is that I'm just not up to it today. The other part is that C is unwell and down for the count after his second pfizer yesterday. I want to be here to monitor and care for him as needed.

I had yesterday off too but that was because my physio is on holiday. That is my only regular appointment on Wednesdays. Almost always I catch two buses to get there, with lots of walking between bustops and places. After that I usually go for a beach walk, or check out op shops. Maybe continue on more buses to visit my friend. I am really enjoying these solo wandering days in the local vicinity.

Mainly I'm doing one activity every weekday consistently. Three of these are five-hour sessions with different support workers: we do bushwalks, art group, shopping, other one-off activities, walking in different locations, beach, gardens. I am finding walking in nature the most healing of all.

Two of the support workers are truly wonderful and I look forward to each session with them. We have been getting together weekly for some months now. I am still looking for someone regular for the third day of support. For various reasons I have so far been supported by a number of different workers on this third day.

I realised yesterday that my ndis process has become my main project in life at this time. My friend and I were laughing last night about how I always need a project. Slowly relaxing into the process over time, so that 'the project' becomes more natural and relaxed, and less of a striving ride.

Hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita are you still here? Nice to have an update from you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi to you too @Shaz51

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth nice to bump into you! ❤️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Mazarita it's been a long time since we connected in real time. I mixed up times for things today so have an unexpected window now til 1pm. Just catching up on things online. Planning a walk at the beach with my support worker this afternoon. Nice to hear you are getting out a lot more now and overall enjoying it. Once things are in place, having NDIS can change our life. We're in lockdown still here so that limits what I can do. In the process of shopping for a tablet, which I've never had before, thanks to NDIS covid changes meaning that with a letter from my psychologist saying I need it I can get a new device for telehealth. A very daunting thing for me in terms of setting it up and learning to use it.

Posting this now coz I don't want to miss you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth

@Mazarita

I am so glad you are managing your project for self care, and it is working out for you. I read a little into the changing spt wkrs on one day, but you seem to have been able to ride it all through.

I still have not optimised my plan, still in survival mode a bit, due to family obligations, but I think your daily activites is a fantastic approach. Keeps me hopeful.

Son is blasting this while doing a massive pile of dishes. Love him!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LAPFM3dgag Hey its SPRING!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, beach walks are wonderful, hope it's enjoyable. Much more regular walks on the beach since ndis for me.

Feeling for you in lockdown. We are in masks. I have bought three reusable ones - 3-layer cotton fabric with flower patterns in different colours and designs. It's interesting seeing people on buses etc being creative with reusable masks. Might as well find some enjoyment in what seems to be an ongoing part of our lives now. I'm calling it face fashion, hehe.

I am fully vaxxed as well. Seems to me likely we will need boosters every year ongoing too. A new chapter of the pandemic, again into the unknown.

I do not have a tablet but they look enjoyable and I think pretty much the same as setting up a mobile. I hear you on it though as I find it takes me a few days of sustained work on a new mobile before it's really working for me, intensive familiarisation. A larger screen is something I may need in future due to eyesight decline. Previously I have had a small tablet that was also a phone.

Great that you are able to fund it via ndis. I have been able to do the same with a pair of good quality running shoes to help keep up my walking, and recently a pair of scholl sandals for the same in summer.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom too. Wow - all 3 of us here at the same time!!

Good to hear your son is helping with the domestics Apple.

@Mazarita for me it's more a walk at the beach than on the beach - walking on soft sand aggravates my foot problems, but the inner beaches here have nice paved paths around them.

I'll be here for a little longer but want to check out some devices on line so that I can have more info before I talk to my son-in-law this afternoon about what I need. He works in IT so is helping me with advice. Unfortunately he's in another state otherwise I'd be taking him shopping with me and he'd be setting it up and teaching me how to use it. I wish I had someone like that here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry @Mazarita and @Appleblossom I'm onto the next task now. Take good care both of you - think of you way more often than I get here. s to @Shaz51 @Zoe7 and @Emelia too.

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