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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I am sorry you have lost a friend Hon but we do need to rid ourselves of those toxic people when it has such a massive imapct on us. I whole heartedly agree - it doesn't matter what anyone else is going through, they can still treat people with compassion and respect. It is unfortunate you have also lost the opportunity to present at the MH conference but sometimes we need to weigh up our mental wellbeing with what going forth would achieve.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth me too with again being away from the forum a lot more. Doing something out of the home every weekday now, already starting to grow to more than one activity on some days. Last week's lockdown was actually a nice and restful break, but glad to be back doing activities this week.

As with @Appleblossom and @Zoe7 I congratulate you on making the wise decision with the friend who was venting their anger on you. I get how difficult to also let go the conference project. Really good on you for having the strength to act on your wisdom with these things.

Great to hear your friendship with your writing buddy is going well though. I get the sense that this friend may not be as close or intense as the one you've let go. I've come to really value the long but maybe less exciting and overtly intimate frienships. Lower key friendships have sometimes become the most long lasting and meaningful for me. Your writing together with this friend is a rare and beautiful thing to share.

Love to you, @Appleblossom, @Zoe7 and anyone reading.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Zoe7 , @Mazarita , @Appleblossom , @eth , @Anastasia , @Oaktree

Been doing some catchup here and sending you all lots of hugs ❤❤

Soo much going on here , sometimes I don't know what I am doing

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Learning about friendship these days. Putting myself out more. Have changed from always being the listener, to talking more. No longer such a people pleaser. Who would have thought with all my education it still took me to be over 60 before I realised how limiting than part of me was. I never knew it existed, but now its all over the net ... lol ... well better late than never .... There are no guarantees I guess, but finally am holding more to my right to some dignity and no longer feel the need to submit all the time. We live and learn.

@Anastasia @Shaz51 @Zoe7

@Mazarita

Thinking I should be doing the same. More daily activities would be good for me too. At least alternative days ....

ALways good to hear from you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Go you good thing @Appleblossom

Need to take a leaf...trying

🙏💞

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @Mazarita @Appleblossom @Shaz51 Love to you all and all passing through here

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning to all who pass through here @Mazarita @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Anastasia @Oaktree @Adge and to those who've tagged me recently @MDT @Former-Member and also to those from last night's peer chat about Lockdown ... @Mex @Snowie @TideisTurning @Former-Member @Otter @victorymarch (can't get your name to show in the drop-down box)

There are many more people I send my best wishes to and I'm sure you know who you are - so many close ties that I've let slip in recent months. Forgive me - offline life has just been taking up all the spoons I have every day.


Will go now and read individual posts to catch up a bit, but if anyone who knows me is around it would be lovely to have a chat.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita @Appleblossom @Zoe7 I really appreciate your responses re friendships. Some good advice from each of you. s

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's lovely to see you @eth 💙💜

Thank you for saying hi.

Hope life is being kind to you.

Sending you love ❤️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Anastasia . Best wishes to you too.

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