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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth so sorry you have gone through that with a close friend. Really awful. Your friend does sound a difficult person if she is tearing strips off others regularly. I am amazed at how clear headed you sound in your post about it all. I think I'd still be quaking with something so painful and recent.

With the painful ending of the support relationship with my friend recently, she and I have shown each other that we are open to reconnecting the friendship when the time comes, it feels like we will do that. We were never close friends but it feels most healing for us to allow some time to heal the anger and pain there.

@Appleblossom's thoughts about the challenges of working with others with mental illness ring true to me. My personal involvements a long time ago with running little cultural groups and projects were intensely difficult on the interpersonal level, and stressful, my health suffered very, very badly in the end.

This was working with people with no diagnosed mental illnesses. I thought a lot about it afterwards. It seemed to me that because the organisation was very small, run by marginal artists for marginal artists, everyone had disproportionatly large personal stakes riding on it, including me. Each of us had some differences of agenda, and different personal agendas for being involved.

Anyway, big hugs for what you have been through and I hope the situation you are in is much less problematic and mostly an expansive experience in your life.

How wonderful you love Clannad as well! I too love the tree of life and especially the triquetra. For me it symbolises Earth, Underworld, Heavens, all intertwined. There is a beauty to me in my path towards accepting all.

Interesting that you mentioned schemas. Our last session of the mindfulness course was strongly drawn from Schema Therapy. I had to laugh when the results of the testing process suggested I have six maladaptive schemas! I do recognise myself in them all. Hopefully next week he's going to start teaching how to ease the effect of these on our lives.

Mostly I am still seeking the non analytical therapies: meditations, hypnoses, breath awareness and the like. At the moment I am finding these non-verbal modes of healing to be the best psychology I have ever experienced, already tangibly beneficial in my daily life. I feel this to be nourishing my spiritual being as well.

Hi @Appleblossom that GP episode is awful. How dare she. One of the bad ones. I hope you can find someone much more compassionate and caring very soon.

NDIS news: weird scenario with my support co-ordinator, who was in the process of handing me over to another support co-ordinator without asking my approval or even telling me she wanted to do that! When I found out I let it be known that I wanted to explore some options myself!

She also clearly didn't want to give me a reason for passing me on and I decided I didn't really care so saved myself the bother of insisting on knowing. So looking for a new SC one now, hoping to hear back from someone on Monday.

Losing both support worker and support co-ordinator, I've been giving myself and C some laughs by going around singing 'Bad to the Bone'.

Good vibes to all reading.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita @Appleblossom I didn't get notified of your tags. Thanks for your replies. On the wing again now but sending best wishes to you and others here.

@Exoplanet @Zoe7 @Oaktree @Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The best of wishes back to you too Hon @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wow @eth sounds like you have been through quite a lot of turmoil with so called problem friend. It's a pity you are forced to work with her otherwise it sounds like a break from her would be beneficial. I wish you luck for getting through all you have to do with her in the near future. Sounds as though she could work on active listening skills and not just barrelling through with what she wants/feels. Here's hoping that things settle down for you with this person.

Meggle

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sending a big HELLO to all who've tagged me recently ... @frog @bipolarbunny @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Fluttershy1 @Eve7 @Anastasia @Mazarita @Oaktree @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Exoplanet @Jacques @Bunniekins

and a big THANKYOU too!!!

Yet again I don't have time to reply individually, so sorry for that, but I am reading all your posts when I get a chance to and keeping up somewhat with discussions and what's going on for you all. I think of you all daily. As in recent weeks, when I do get some space between activities I need to rest and prepare for the next thing.

DBT course in 3rd week and going ok. Quite interesting to see a body of theory in one presentation, tho' nothing too new for me yet. Homework too which takes a bit of time and thought to do. Getting easier to be in a room with a group for 3 hours a week.

Writing at least 1 day a week with my writing buddy in preparation for our residency, which we have postponed until later in the year due to my other commitments, but also because the weather will be more pleasant up on the headland by then.

Keeping up with tai chi twice a week, appointments, errands etc and getting some driving practice 3-4 times a week.

Keeping in contact with friends and peers in the disability alliance and support groups plus doing monthly writing group and other meetings via zoom. Working towards writing a paper with peers and have been selected to present it at a major mental health services and learning network conference in October ... that's exciting but daunting at the same time.

NDIS plan extended for 12 months instead of having to have a full review for a new plan, which is a huge load off my mind.

Blah blah blah if anyone's interested!!

Wishing I could offer more individual support here - I do almost none of that compared to when I was a community guide and I miss it, but offline life has to be my priority for the time being.

Hoping you're all coping ok with recent covid developments and restrictions. I keep expecting it to hit my town every day and have that feeling of needing to prepare for another lock down here. We are very close to some of the red zone areas of NSW here. Consequent strong anxiety about all the things that would mean including absence of support workers and all the things I do with them.

Take good care everyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I hope you realise just how wonderful it actually is that you are NOT here because of all the achievements, progress and things you are doing for yourself. It is actually a great 'story' of recovery and moving forward for all others to revel in and aspire to - what an inspiration you are ⭐

Of course we miss you heaps but seeing what you have been doing, what you are working towards and the massive steps you have/are taking in your life is truly wonderful to see

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth

I love reading your updates, you provide so much hope. Not blah, blah, blah ever.

Amazing girl x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth and all.

Good to hear what you have been up to, @eth. Great going.

Things going well here with the activities themselves. Behind the scenes admin associated with NDIS has been pretty painful from the start. I am again without a support co-ordinator but that will likely be resolved early next week. I am doing almost all of my own research, organisation and bookings for activities so do not need that much from anyone who takes it on.

Best thing of all may be the bushwalks in the national parks. Walked for two hours in sub-tropical rainforest today. So still and quiet under the canopy of monumental trees, only passed one other person the whole way. Heard whipbird calls, gentle currawong calls. Magical place and massive improvement of mood from start to end of day.

Hi everyone reading. Well wishes all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Shaz51 and anyone else reading. Hoping this post finds you at peace and coping ok with these continuing strange times.

Well I guess most of us are in lockdown by now. My area it started Thursday at 5pm. So most of the things I've been doing are now on hold. And I'm sure I'll be back on the forums more after being very sporadic the last couple of months.

I do appreciate being tagged and keeping up with some of you.

Yesterday I did tai chi with music playing in my home for the first time. It was great fun! I'll def be doing more of that.


Working hard to stay positive after losing a friend on Thursday too. She blew up at me for the 2nd time and I'm choosing to let her go. I have mentioned her before here. It's a shame coz it was the sort of friendship where we would talk on the phone for 3 hrs or more quite often. No matter what trauma and difficulties a person is dealing with, I don't believe that excuses being just plain nasty and venting repeatedly on another person. Luckily I have my DBT exercises to practice on this issue. The course continues but I've decided not to go until I'm fully vaccinated - on the 17th I'll get my 2nd Pfizer shot. Losing this friend also means I won't be co-presenting a paper at a major MH conference, also disappointing, but I just can't work with her on it so have withdrawn from the working group writing the paper too.

Also feeling lucky for my inspiring friendship with my writing buddy, tho' we won't be able to see each other for a while either. We'll keep connected online and the phone. At least that's the plan.

Feeling grateful for the forums and being able to come and go when needed, and still feel connected and part of a community.

Take care everyone reading this. Look forward to catching up with anyone who wants to.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Aaaaah! Female Friendship can be as difficult to negotiate as all the other relationships. Working out those boundaries, and reciprocal listening and support ..... I have given them a big a break except friendships on this forum. If I move more socially I will be very careful and only share my story if they have earned it.

@eth

Weary Sigh re lockdowns .... I am fairly lucky in that they do not greatly effect me, compared to many others, but sad I do not get to see grandson and my 2 choirs have cancelled again. Did a choir zoom last night but its not the same.

love Apple

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