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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again @Mazarita. I'm feeling quite paranoid about it right now. Time for a shower and clean pyjamas! I could go on about what I've read about it but this probably isn't the place for that. Thanks for your support.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, this is the place for 'long raves' of any kind, so feel free to talk out what you have discovered about staph. I just had a quick scan and saw that there are a number of different types of staph, but only 'golden staph' has the antiobiotic resistance. I'm hoping it's not staph at all. But if it is, it may very well be easily remedied with the ABs. Fingers crossed they start working and clear it up for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lots of details about hygeine management @Mazarita including changing bed linen daily while I have it (same if it's shingles) and washing it all in hot water. Over the last long period of time it's lucky if I change my sheets monthly (altho' I do usually sleep on top of the doona). Health direct website says the bacteria can live on us or linen or dishes without symptoms a lot of the time. It's when it enters the blood stream it causes problems. (And it can be very serious if it becomes systemic and if it's the antibiotic resistant strain - which I fear because the antibiotic cream didn't work). I had a pimple a couple of weeks ago which I squeezed a lot the first couple of days and that's the area where I now have the problem. I don't think I'll ever squeeze a pimple again!

Thanks for making me feel ok about sharing here.

I do feel a bit better having had a warm shower. Next job washing linen, clothes etc. Have changed my pillow case at least. I just feel as if I've caused it myself.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It feels like my body is giving me one warning after another. Recurrent cold/cough led to lwr lung infection and fevers and trouble breathing (smoking warning) and now this skin problem (hygeine warning). I don't want to be repeatedly ill from things that even might be self-inflicted. Lots of self-blame happening here this evening.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, my psychologist has given me an affirmation and gesture to help at times when I'm blaming myself too much for something. It goes like this: hand on the heart and say 'I forgive you', out loud. If I was in your shoes, I would be forgiving myself even if it was self-inflicted (which I doubt it is with you, aside from the smoking related issues, which I share). We can't be perfect, even in our relations with ourselves. Hope the bad feelings subside over the evening, dear friend.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita. I will remember to do this and just did. Thankyou xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Okay, so today was an active day by my standards. 8.15am long beach walk in heat. Yes it took at least an hour for the red to leave my face. Put on a load of washing, as hoped. Then got suddenly tired and went to lay on the bed while it did its thing. Next thing it was midday. So up and out with the washing on the line. Then another load, and then that out on the line. Made myself some lunch. Bed made. Tidied up the main room, wiped down the coffee table, vacuumed the mats. The two of us in a small flat together for most of the past four days meant it was a bit messy. Tidied the kitchen and did some wiping. Later, I even cleaned the vanity and toilet. During this time I took it slowly and was taking necessary breaks in between tasks. In the breaks I found myself in the doldrums still. But somehow found the will to push against that and got so much more done in one day than usual. Then we had dinner (C made us toasties). Then we went around to our friend's place for an after-dinner chat. Now home.

I'm writing all this because, where I was dragging myself around first thing this morning, I now feel too wired. This is what sometimes happens to me when I ramp up activity. The nervous energy involved kind of keeps ramping up until I don't know what to do with myself. Writing this is a way of releasing some of that nervous energy through my fingers. And it gives my mind something to focus on, relaxing me in the process. I feel better at the end of this rave than I did at the start. Thank you to anyone who has read this outburst. Hope the rest of the evening treats you well.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good evening @Mazarita and all

@eth sending you my thoughts and best wishes.

@Mazarita hope it's helped to get some of that energy out. So much of what you write of I can relate to, including that wired feeling. I get so frustrated trying to find some kind of middle ground with so many things. Your post reminded me of how tricky it can be to find balance when getting started can be hard but stopping once you've started can also be hard.

Sending you big hugs and hoping you settle inside soon 💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @CheerBear, and hugs.

I haven't really settled tonight. My mood is on a little rollercoaster. C and I watched some videos we made back in 2004 and 2005 that we still have on DVD. Hadn't seen them for all that time. An amazing record of the times. Had some weird feelings about C's mood at the end of it, which kind of spiralled my mood, and now I'm just winding down from that feeling. I'm pretty highly strung at the moment, it seems. If I can't sleep, I might go and write a bit of a long rave in the 'writing as therapy' thread. That might help.

Hope you and LF are now sleeping and the cool of morning is refreshing.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita and all 🙂

How did you get on last night after your rollercoastery mood Maz? Hope you found some peace and got some sleep.

I ate my 'the heat isn't too bad' words from yesterday last night as I struggled through a very hot night. I saw 1, 2 and 3 something before calling it quits and getting up at 4 something. So annoying! Good thing there isn't too much that needs doing today.

Hope the day ahead is ok for you all.

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