FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

2,681 - 2,690 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have a good day @Mazarita and @CheetBear ..... 👋

I am heading off for a while now too .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning everybody @Faith-and-Hope@Mazarita@CheerBear@eth@Former-Member

i hope you all have a great day 🙂

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You're going great guns @Mazarita! My list is overwhelming me.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth. How are you travelling today? I'm down. Just trying to put one foot in front of the other. I'm grateful for having the week off work so there's no pressure.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not so good myself @frog @Mazarita. Just back from the GP who said the thing on my face is either staph or shingles or cold sore. It started with a pimple a couple of weeks ago but has enlarged to about 1cm diameter and itches like mad. So I'm now on oral antibiotics as well as the antibiotic cream I've been using for 6 days (no change). And waiting til Tuesday for path results from a swab. Hoping like mad it doesn't spread as I'm meant to be going bush from Friday for a few days. High anxiety about this.

While we were out we went to a quiet industrial area and I drove around there - first drive in nearly a year so a pretty major milestone. My startle reflex was exaggerated and I nearly didn't see an oncoming car as I was focussed on getting in a driveway and parking. I'm worried about the next steps as I know at some point I'll have to practice in traffic with a goal of being able to shop and get to appointments by myself. It would really liberate me if I could do it but today just made me more aware of my fears. I can do the mechanics of it but really fear panic and disorientation once in traffic, especially near trucks or buses but also changing lanes in traffic etc. We live on a busy road so just getting out the driveway will be hair raising - already is when I'm a passenger. My bro and sil are encouraging me and helping but it's a fine line between that and pressure.

Well done with the walk @Mazarita and good luck with the chores.

Hope you are starting to feel better @frog.

Cheers to anyone else around.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the good wishes, @outlander. I hope there is some good in your day too.

@frog, hope the day is treating you a bit kinder now that morning has turned to afternoon. Glad you have the week off work and are not under pressure.

@eth, good on you for tackling some driving. I feel for you with the anxiety about it, which I share. In fact it's pretty much a phobia with me these days. I don't even like being a passenger in cars and often need to practice deep breathing exercises so as not to make frightened noises in the passenger seat when things seem a bit tricky in traffic (drivers, oddly enough, don't appreciate this, lol).

It's not too limiting for me though because public transport is very accessible from here and I pretty much don't venture much further out than one or two suburbs either side of where I live. So don't need to be in cars very often, except for a quick trip around to friend's place when C gives me a lift (around quiet back streets). I also actually feel that the meds I take may affect my capacity with driving, so I have basically given up on it. Is there any way for you to get around without driving? I have thought of asking my psychiatrist about the meds and how I feel they may be affecting this aspect of my life, to see what they say about it. I used to be a confident and good driver.

Sorry to hear about the itchy sore on your face, necessitating antibiotics. Keeping fingers crossed it improves with the ABs and that the test result is helpful. I know how much you look forward to your trips away, and how valuable they are to your wellbeing.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm the same with the deep breathing when a passenger @Mazarita. I also hang on to the door and brake with my right foot. It's not the driver I don't trust usually but all the other vehicles near us.

I am too anxious with PTSD flares about public transport or walking by myself. Or catching a taxi with an unknown driver. I tried to book a female driver and was told I could not do that by the company. Somehow I need to over come this stuff.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I hang on to the door and phantom brake too. These days I just seem to find cars too fast, too aggressive, too many. Sorry about how you feel too about walking and public transport on your own. The overcoming can only happen in small increments, and you took a big step today. If you keep pushing gently at the limits, they may just become less. That's how it has worked for me to get out in the world more. As you know though, it's all still work in progress for me too. For what it's worth, I think you did great today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thankyou @Mazarita

I've just been reading about staph skin infections on-line and am feeling very concerned about it. Time for meticulous hygeine it seems. A challenge for me. I've not even been able to admit to rare showering in discussions here. The truth is that usually I just 'top and tail' in the cabin. I just have the sink and cold water so I use hot water from the jug. Feeling somewhat debased right now and seriously hoping the antibiotics do work. I don't think I should go to the farm if I'm infectious but the alternative is staying home by myself (without even the dog). So anxious about it. I could rave on but there's probably not much point in that. Feel like s$&t!! Expressions I read, like "colonised by staph" and "antibiotic resistant" are bouncing around in my head. And I'm conscious of even the slightest sensation on my skin.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, top and tail cleansing (I usually do underarms too) is quite effective. As you know, I struggle with showering too, though I think I may be getting a little better with it (slowly, as with everything it seems). I doubt that hygiene would be the issue if you have been cleaning your face every day. Hard to imagine how you might have picked up a staph infection. I'm guessing it isn't really that, hoping. In the meantime, maybe see if there's something to use as a distraction from the anxiety, if possible. And maybe keep off google about it if possible, as it may just feed the anxiety at this point. In any case, sending hugs.

2,681 - 2,690 of 27,230