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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Merry Christmas everyone
I hope your day is filled with joy 🎄🎁

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear, @eth, @Faith-and-Hope, @outlander, @frog and everyone,

Up early this boxing day. A magpie warbles outside, still only 6.30am here. Still cool, as it has been since the storms arrived last night. Yesterday was a scorcher here. It will eventually warm up again today. But for now it's still overcast and delightful as I sit here in my nightie talking to you, cool breeze floating around me.

Sending good vibes to everyone for today, the (what a relief!) day after xmas.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita and all ☺

Sounds like a lovely start this morning for you. We have kind of the opposite as I am enjoying feeling some sun after a cold day yesterday. Magpies in the distance here, though it's hard to hear them over the cockies!

Definitely a what a relief day! I think I like Boxing Day more than Christmas day. Hoping you and C and your friend had a good enough one yesterday.

Have you got any plans today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No plans here, @CheerBear. I'll get some more sleep soon. Then will need to try to find something to do or I'll get very restless and bored today! Managing myself is like trying to manage an out of control child sometimes, that's how it feels on the inside anyway.

Yes, the relief of boxing day. I read in the nest thread that you have a relaxed one happening today. Glad you are enjoying the warmth of the sun. Cockatoos are great to see but boy do they make a noise! Those loud early morning party animals.

It honestly wasn't a great day yesterday because of the stress of the housing situation on my friend, and (after helping with it for some time without success), on me. We couldn't seem to escape the subject, even on xmas day, which is understandable given her situation, but wasn't great nonetheless. I'm wearying of the journey with it too. I feel a failure for not being able to help her enough to get into a new place. And frustrated and sad at everything about this housing journey she's going through.

Woops, a little rave there. Will post this now on the chance that you are still around and feel like chatting.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @CheerBear @Mazarita and all. Hope you are in good spirits. I am feeling really flat. Can't get going this morning, and headachy. Still, it's mild here and that's good.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @frog, with you on being in a dodgy mood at the start of this day. Do you get headaches often? I get migraines sometimes, not too frequently thank goodness. Hope things pick up for you as the day unfolds.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I understand the managing yourself feeling thing @Mazarita. I have a need to find things to do but also find ways to chill too. What things do you think you'll get up to today? It's a lovely backyard playing day today and we have some fun outdoor games (one called Kubb which involves underarm throwing baton stick things at wooden blocks - it's pretty cool).

Sorry to hear yesterday wasn't such a great day. Problems like this one can be so consuming and it is understandable that they don't turn off (as you said) because the world seems to stop for a day or two.

I feel sad thinking that you are feeling like a failure. You've been an incredible support and there's only so much anyone can do when you're working through a system that fails people 😞 It's an incredibly hard, miserable, hopeless causing, frustrating fight and I wish it was different. Are the real estates open during now and the new year, or will you have to wait until next week now?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hiya @frog. It's nice to bump into you too this morning. Sorry you're feeling flat 😞 Do you have much on today? Hope that headache passes for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think the real estate agents may be open from tomorrow until the end of the week. Just the main public holidays are out, I think, @CheerBear. Most of the properties now have availability dates that fall after my friend's moving out date. But, the search will need to continue even if and when she is at her sister's. I've offered to be 'remote secretary' at that point, as her sister's place is quite some distance from here. I'll just be looking for properties and doing online applications from my place for her. Another difficulty is that she now needs as much help as possible finishing off the actual packing and moving tasks. I just don't have much strength or stamina for that so don't know how helpful I'll be able to be there. Anyway, it will all work out in the end but it's a crazy situation that she has money but can't get a suitable flat to rent. We live in strange times.

I'm drawing a blank on what I might end up doing today. Worry about my friend seems to be the main item on my agenda, lol. Hoping I'll find more useful things to do as the day progresses.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That really does sound so hard @Mazarita, and very much as if it has the potential to cause lots of sad and helpless feelings. Everything about moving is stressful, including the packing unpacking and actual moving bit. Sigh 😞 And yep, hard to comprehend how it can happen when we're so fortunate (as a whole) in so many ways. Totally understandable you are worrying.

I've got my crochet out at the moment while it's still quiet and calm here. It's handy to have such a big ongoing project to pick up when I feel like doing something but something that doesn't take much energy or effort.
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