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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita tomorrow evening I have a tai chi class and then Wednesday I'm free in the afternoon only so maybe we can catch up then. Take care xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth & @Mazarita

hearing you about the sleep hygeine pressures not taking into account effects of meds .... hmmmm ...I remember when you posted about sleep ... way back ... maz.... I was allowing myself the freedom and I did not have anyone on my back .... frustrating that professionals do not fully understand the tools of their trade .... confusing a mechanistic way of seeing the world with biological complexities would make for a lot of mistakes... tax payer funded, and causing rather than alleviating grief ....but we have to balance it out ... yes ....always a work in progress.

Take Care and Stay safe ladies.

love Apple

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love your new profile pic @Appleblossom 😀

I agree take care and stay safe @Mazarita , @eth 🥰❤

Became mum's carer at the end of 2020 And now centrelink wants documents to show that she is a real Person, soo annoying

And it is upsetting my polar bear Mr shaz

Thank you for your kind remarks @eth ,xx it is funny but when I have a bad day Mr shaz is there for me

And when he has bad days which is nearly every day He looks to me for support

About the house -- waiting for the house to be demolished still

Don't think we will rebuild but looking after mum and our health is more important at the moment

@Bunniekins , @TAB , @Adge, @Emelia8

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom

Yes about the 'sleep well, lose weight' message over and over from our medical professionals, when these things may actually be caused by meds side effects, making it close to impossible to do what they say. An instance of when they can actually cause or exacerbate feelings of failure in us about things that are in fact largely out of our control. I mean, if you shoot enough sedative at a lion, it will fall to the ground asleep. Similar situation with the side effects to many if not most of the strong psych meds we take.

You mentioned balancing it out and I agree. Treating mental illness is difficult and complex especially given the time constraints most of the therapists are working with. My psychologist and I talked at our last session about how much treatment I have had over decades. I commented that many or most forms of treatment help only a small amount. She openly said to me that it's because they simply don't know how to do better than that yet.

Medicine, psychiatry and psychology are always only in the process of advancing in effectiveness. It helps me to think of how far they have come in say 100 years. Back then someone like me might have spent a lifetime in an asylum, a terrible, possibly horrific life. These days I can live a life of relative peace in my own place, despite the dysfunctionality and mental health stuggles in an ongoing way.

Probably the most helpful thing to me in gaining a much better quality of life than I had when younger, is getting help over time from multiple sources. In a big way that includes this forum. I have also been proactive about sourcing support, and overall holding the reins of my own treatment. This has involved more equality with medical and psych professionals, rather than simply being compliant with a plan for us that may often be made in haste before the next patient arrives.

I suspect you and I have similar views on this.

Up and down this overnight, not sleeping properly. These nights still happen though overall my sleep is vastly improved since reducing the dose of my anti-depressant.

Well wishes for your new day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Shaz51 re pic

You have so much to handle. Yes dealing with people first sounds best. SO glad you are still here on the forum spreading your cheer ....

Hugs

Dear Mazzie @Mazarita

You were my mine company in my year up all night. SO I appreciate you were there too. Sleep well and lose weight sounds so simple. NOT when we are walking chemical cocktails under experiment, although not under experimental conditions. Those conditions involve a lot of controls and dealing with single issue situations, otherwise the results are conpromised. I am wary about the multiple meds approach pushed by Big pharma. Its not only about myself but about the many others I have known.

Yes to being proactive and informed about treatment. There is no other way. We may comply at the beginning. I put 2 pdocs on pedestals during many years of my marriage, as I felt I had no choice. That was my life.

Yes to gratitude. At least that psych had the humility and honesty to admit limits in the field.

I wrote a much longer post but lost it. Need to go.

Love and Hugs

Apple

and to @Bunniekins @eth @outlander @Sans911 @Anastasia @oceangirl @Emelia8

Good Luck to whole forum ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita think this is your thread? Not sure I've ever really spoken to you.... read on another thread that you have Fibromyalgia? I also have this horrible diagnosis.... I experienced chronic pain for many years, however the birth of my daughter made it so much worse and was diagnosed with it shortly after she was born.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bow

I started the thread and it has carried on for a couple of years without me. Just back from hardly being here over that time. Mainly a place I thought could be for long posts, but there is just a lot of chat here now too. Join in any time.

I was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia about October last year, though my GP thought I might have it about 5 years ago but the rheumatologist I saw then said no. My GP has effectively been treating me for all the time since then, mainly dealing with pain relief, and ways to give me the best quality of life I can live.

Then through the public hospital and after a very large number of tests of all kinds, I was diagnosed.

It goes up and down with me and I do not think I have a severe case of it, but it's bad enough to give me pain that's hard to manage and to keep from doing anything sometimes. I already struggle from that with my bipolar, which is mostly chronic depression in me.

So sorry it's got a lot worse for you with the birth of your daughter. I feel for you starting motherhood with those health issues.

Wishing you well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth I am online now if you are free for a chat. x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita 😄

And also @eth @Appleblossom @Shaz51

Just tagging @Bow for your reply to her above, which I note you missed tagging her.

Glad you two can compare notes on fibromyalgia, which does not sound like a pleasant thing to have at all.

Emelia 💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Emelia8

Thanks for noticing that. I have edited the post with a tag now.

Good to talk to you after some likes between us on our posts.

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