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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member, thanks so much for looking in on me.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Could well be heatstroke @Mazarita. Glad to hear you woke up feeling somewhat better. I hope things are going ok with your psychologist re the new diagnosis and what your psychiatrist said. Rest well after that my friend. Looking forward to a catch up.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, thanks for your message. I think it may have been related to dehydration and that I get migraines from time to time anyway. The heat and humidity yesterday and last night excacerbated things. The psychologist today also mentioned that the anti-depressant I take has a side of effect heat and sweating. So maybe the overheating I was putting down to menopause might be that instead. Will ask psychiatrist about that in January.

We talked about diagnosis, which she was happy to leave floating as a possibility rather than anything definite. We discussed the ways I don't fit the diagnosis, especially how social I am compared to a classic case of that disorder (she described a woman she saw who never took off hat and sunglasses even in the therapy room); as well as the ways I might fit the diagnosis, especially that I have had this tendency to withdrawal and isolation since earliest childhood. I mentioned the psychiatrists view and she was okay with that. In the end, we were talking about these things being spectrums anyway. I came away feeling okay that there is no definite diagnosis there, just observations about my fairly clear tendencies to avoidance. The bottom line is how to treat my individual issues. Part of this will be continuing to see her through next year.

I have recovered pretty well from last night's acute illness, just mainly feel weakened by it today. On the other hand, I am ecstatic with relief that I am not in that terrible pain anymore.

Hope your day has been good in various ways.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita hoping you've had a much better night and are feeling rested and recovered by now. Sounds like things went well overall with the psychologist.

Today the support worker is taking me swimming and then to the GP. Plus I need to do my floor and some outdoor clean up after the storm we had last night. We finished the day at the beach again and just left in time to get home ahead of the storm. Hoping it's not repeated today as I've planned for a bbq this evening.

Really looking forward to seeing my friend but feeling nervous at the same time - about the lack of progress this year that will be obvious to her (she's a psych nurse). Not sure why else but I'm feeling it this morning. I so rarely have a visitor and I don't want to feel this way while she is here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth.

Feeling for what you are feeling about your friend coming. It reminds me of when I go to visit my interstate friend in the country. We always are so looking forward to seeing each other, but we're both quite nervous around each other. Remember that your friend will be looking forward to seeing you too, and she may be nervous as well, even if she doesn't show it on the surface.

As for your progress this year, it seems to me you've made massive strides in the new place, compared to how you were up north. You have a much better living situation, and followed through with that happening, a huge undertaking. You are with Phams, where before you did not have that support, another thing you have made happen in order to improve your life. You go away for weekends to spend time with interesting people regularly, at the farm. You've recently had a big burst of creative activity, with spiritual and writing workshops. I know that your motivation for that is not at its peak right now, but just think of some of these things and the many more that have been really forward moves in your life.

It's so great hearing about your swimming (another good thing). If you keep it up, it might even inspire me to do it this summer. I know that would feel good.

Hugs for the vulnerable feelings this morning.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thankyou so much for your kind words @Mazarita. What are you up to today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I have a GP appointment mid morning. So will start having breakfast and getting ready as soon as C leaves for work at 8.30 (9.30 your time). After that, no plans. Slept in two hour blocks last night, up for about an hour each time. How did you sleep?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I was awake 4 times - pretty normal for me @Mazarita but back to sleep after 15-20 minutes each time. I find if I come on-line I'm awake a lot longer. During the night I've surrendered to the desire to smoke and am feeling the craving really strongly this morning. I guess it's the nerves. I actually feel jittery today. Hoping I'll feel better once I've done my chores.

Hope your appointment goes well. And that you find pleasure in what ever activities you fill your day with.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. Remember to breathe with the jitters. Hoping the groundedness of domestic work will help settle the nerves too. Catch up again soon, my friend.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Headache is still hanging around this morning, as it did all yesterday too, two days after the huge sick night, still feeling it. GP prescribed some anti-migraine medication when I saw her yesterday, as I get these terrible headaches on a semi-regular basis. Took a tablet last night. It may have warded off the migraine getting worse again, but hasn't taken away all the pain in my head. Little sleep over past few days. On the sick night I didn't sleep at all due to severe pain and illness. Past couple of nights I keep waking up after a couple of hours sleep, not able to get back to it again straight away.

Saw my friend again last night. She has now organised for her things to be taken to storage in early January, preparing to go to stay at her sister's place, since she's been unable to secure a new rental flat. Feeling down for her about it, and for myself. I'm so disappointed that, even with my intensive assistance, she's been unable to find a new home before her time in the current place runs out. She will be continuing to look for a new place at her sister's. Hopefully one will come up sometime soon. It's costing her a lot of extra money to do this too. Aside from the additional costs moving things in and out of storage, the fee for holding her stuff is expensive. I just can't believe my 54 year old, disabled friend, who has lived in this area for the past fifteen years, with a solid rental history and an okay nest egg of savings, is still about to become officially homeless.

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