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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks a lot @Bunniekins for offering to listen and support me. I've kind of run out of words just now, but being heard means the world to me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I can understand that. Just keep me in the loop as I really do care and wish that I could offer you a couch to camp on to help. Just cant for obvious reasons but I would if able to.xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I would be happy to offer up my guest room to @eth also @Bunniekins 💕😊

It would serve two purposes: Firstly @eth a roof over your head (shelter being one of life's basic essentials). Secondly, it would help to maintain my safety within my home (every persons right). 👍 A win/win situation. And I think I'm within a couple of hours of you Eth, so no major move. If only problems could be solved so easily. 😔

You know how I said there was no wind here this morning @Bunniekins ? We had a couple of hours sunshine between about 8-10am, but since then the rain has moved up the coast and its been raining since late morning. And the wind has sprung up, gusty at times and intermittent heavy rain showers. Its unsettling, and depressing, and miserable right now.

Emelia 🌸

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I could feel your pain through the screen, and wished I could reach in and ease it somehow, if only by listening, at the very least.

I’m sorry seems lame, but I think you will understand. I really hope for a safe and comfortable home for you, somewhere you are no disempowered.

Sending very caring thoughts and wishes your way. Please take care where you can. 💙💙💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Feeling for you too @eth ..... feeling blindsided and invalidated in my own situation, so feeling that heaviness of heart in the words you have written too ..... it's so hard. I hope this is the difficulty that often comes before a turning of the tide and a heading in a new direction. It feels like an intense struggle because the dynamic is all wrong, and then it releases and finds its new pathway ...... hang in there Hon. Things don't stay the same. The tide will turn.

💐💕💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Emelia8 wind gone here now so son2 is more settled. Rain has eased also. Looking forward to some spring type weather promised later in the week. Stay warm and dry everyone. xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth @Faith-and-Hope heavy hearts all round.

I'm too exhausted to talk about mine but I want you to know that I'm hearing you and I'm sorry for what you are going through.

Hi @Bunniekins @Mazarita @Maggie @Emelia8 and all of you good people around atm.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@frog Hey frog take good care of yourself and be safe my friend. Love pea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Awwwww sending you tender hugs my @eth

Sunny here today

We cleaned this morning And and we did mum's gardening this afternoon

Tired now

Going to have eggs on toast tonight xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @frog

sorry to hear you have had a tough day, sending you positive vibes for a better day tomorrow

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