FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

25,901 - 25,910 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The weather got really wild and windy here @Bunniekins just after I posted my previous message. Then the power went out. So no power here, and no idea when it will be restored. At least its calm now, no wind and no rain either. Its also getting dark now, so Id best go drag out my candles.

Hi @Maggie 😀 Hugs @Faith-and-Hope 💝 To feeling validated @eth 👍💗

Feeling very sad right now actually. Read a post elsewhere about a members 11yo. It was a happy post, but it reminded me of my little 11yo niece Em. The 5 year anniversary of her tragic death is coming up in just over a week. You never forget do you?

And sadly, there are lots of members today who are going through really tough times. And I've been unable to help any of them. 😟💕

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just being here helped enormously @Emelia8 So sorry to hear of your anniversary coming up. You're right, you never do forget.

Thanks also to @Maggie @Faith-and-Hope @frog @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Anastasia @DJMasters and anyone I missed (sorry).

Thinking of you too @frog and hoping things get easier for you.

Warm wishes for a smoother ride for all of us xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope Big hugs. 💕💕💕💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Emelia8 I hope you get the power on soon :o! So sorry about your niece :(. Lots of love coming your way my friend xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi to you too @Appleblossom sending warm wishes xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So very sorry to hear your brother is still being difficult @eth You do not deserve any of that and I hope you can continue to stay in the cottage until housing becomes available for you. You have enough to deal with without all that Hon As for your so-called friend - some people are completely ignorant when it comes to mental health and some think they know everything when in-fact they have no idea at all what it is like.

I can hear just how much you are dealing with and how much you are struggling - so be here, don't be here ...whatever it is you need and can deal with. We are all here for you and with you eth so do whatever it is you need to do knowing you have that support here when you need

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

👍💕 @Zoe7 .....

Thank you @Maggie

Do you have some self-care lined up for tonight @eth ? It is really important in the face of the lack of care from others you have been on the receiving end of ..... please keep looking after you 🌷💕

So sorry about your little Em too @Emelia8. I think the pain doesn't go away, but it dulls, and we learn to co-exist with it. I have found marking the occasions with something special in honour of the person really helps that process along, as much as it can be. Time is the greater healer.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Whoops .... sorry .... hi to @Bunniekins as well, and I just saw a Support from @TAB 👋

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ha ha sprung lol @Faith-and-Hope got work tomorrow so will be up early in the cold yay

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not me @TAB .... I have been staying up late in the cold, working. Hope you have a good day.

25,901 - 25,910 of 27,230