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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Don't have many words tonight so just sending you some love and hugs 💜💜💜

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello lovely @eth

Your garden sounds lovely 🌹

Sorry to hear about your support workers and the covid situation.

How good is online shopping!!! I'm only new to it and yes you can spend hours. Keep smiling and love to read your posts x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi to all here and all who've tagged me the last couple of days. @Anastasia @Zoe7 @Maggie @TAB @Shaz51 @Judi9877 @DJMasters @outlander @Emelia8 @Bunniekins @CheerBear @Angels333 @Fluttershy1 And to all reading this. I've been thinking of you all but had a difficult couple of days and just ran out of steam. Hit the wall Saturday afternoon and again on Sunday. Mostly things that have happened offline but something that really challenged me on here too. Also included over-supporting a 'friend' who I talked about already here, the one that invalidated my explanation of bipolar and complex PTSD, being expected to reply instantly and make myself available for my adult child on the spot despite what's going on for me, and another really difficult talking to by my brother (won't dignify it by calling it a conversation). Once again all I could do was try to take in what he was saying and not verbalise how defensive, powerless and harshly criticized I felt. Too much to type here. I still have very low energy today, somewhat depressed and disempowered plus feeling like my situation living here is conditional and tenuous - which rattles me deeply.

So I'm sorry I haven't much to offer anyone in the way of support at the moment.

Lots more I'm struggling with too, re loss of support worker activities, stepping up our covid responses due to it being in our suburb (I'm in the hunter region of NSW) etc etc.

I will try to read all your posts and respond where I'm able to.

Hi also to @Adge @Teej @frog @NatureLover @Former-Member @Jupiter @Former-Member @MDT @Bezak482 @Faith-and-Hope @BPDSurvivor @Blep @Exoplanet @Mazarita ... don't even have the energy to continue tagging here. So sorry if I've missed naming anyone, it's nothing personal believe me, just a sign of how I'm feeling.

Take care, stay safe and stay kind everyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello lovely @eth

please do not apologize, I think it is safe to say we as a collective understand. I am sorry that you don't feel validated, I think that is such a big thing for all of us otherwise we don't feel heard or respected. I hear you, I really do x Keep smiling and keep your head up. Please remember to be kind to you. I see you giving constantly, please make sure you take as well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm so sorry to hear of all that you are going through currently @eth . My kindest thoughts, love and a big Virus-safe hug are going out to you. Please dont feel bad for not being here, when you need time to yourself. Try to rest, keep calm, think peaceful thoughts, and ignore any negativity around you. Hope these images can assist you with that. 💕

Well said @Anastasia 👍💖

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thankyou so much @Emelia8 and @Anastasia for 'seeing' me. And for the beautiful images. Had a little cry just now. Trying not to feel like a powerless victim here with everything that's come to light with my brother yesterday. I really fear having to leave here as I've nowhere to go to, not able to afford open market rental, and have spent my life having to move in a hurry - I really don't know how I'd cope if it did come to that. The waiting list is several years for public housing, and they haven't even contacted me since my application was completed and submited - around a month ago. And I'm not up to ringing them at the moment. Appreciate your care and comments more than you can know right now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 💕🤗💖😔

Life must seem very precarious right now with the uncertainty of housing raising its head for you once more.

I was going to ask if you had heard from Public Housing since you submitted your application. Something you finally accomplished during my absence I noticed. 😊 That was a long process to say the least! I suppose it will take just as long to hear anything back from them now. If worse comes to worst ... would emergency housing be an option? I realise its unlikely to be in an area appropriate for your particular needs, but its at least a fall-back option if needed. I dont know how difficult it is to obtain emergency housing at short notice however. Luckily, I have never been in a situation where its been needed.

It sounds as though you are still processing a lot of what transpired with your brother yesterday ... I'm sorry that side of things has not settled more than it has. Little wonder you feel very exposed and vulnerable right now. Sending a hug your way, and a shoulder upon which to cry on if thats whats needed. Doesnt solve anything, but may provide some small comfort. 😢💕

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Sorry to hear of your challenging weekend. No need to apologise, we are here for you and understand. As much as it doesn't seem like it now, do know you are valued and thought of. Keep persisting, 🙂 You are always in a safe place here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again @Emelia8 and you too @DJMasters

Em the application I've done has all the evidence with it that they need to decide if I'm eligible for a priority placement. My support worker I spent an hour talking with this morning (on the phone as not able to do in person yet coz she got tested last week) has offered to do a letter for me about how I'm being affected in my current situation. To send to housing dep't to go with what I've already given them. Hopefully it will help more. The sw was so supportive and understanding this morning and talked about how I don't have real choice and control in my current situation (the aim of NDIS funding overall) and even said that what my brother's been doing is almost a kind of abuse that should be reported. That's scary stuff because if it did happen I'd definitely be out on my ear. She also is going to have a talk with my support coordinator about the situation. I asked her to be sure to say that no-one is to contact bro or sil directly at this stage. I hope it all pans out without more drama. It's so hard to just be humble and listen to bro's stuff and respond with comitment to do more of what he wants when he's basically boot-strapping me. And I'm feeling super defensive but have to control myself and not react. So disempowering, that's why I'm feeling so down today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hey eth dont know really what to say .... except that I hear you and am here if you want to talk. So sorry things are so tough on you atm you dont deserve it at all. Love you eth. pea

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