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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Its good to be honest and open and be able to just talk about things as they are.

@Adge

Thanks.

It means a lot to me.

It really helps to have perspective.

Maybe I will be able to shake bad experience off.

I've felt so strongly driven to ... model how to make the system work ... we also have to face facts about the broken bits.

Yes to the lack of real jobs. The casualisation of the workforce has been a slow eroding reality and it makes it hard for the young ones, as my son was discussing this evening.

I hope Centrelink works out. Security makes a difference. I hope you find things you enjoy as an early retirement maybe. I had one uncle retire at 50 and spend a lot of time on his boat.

You and I have been on both sides of the services.

In response to: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

I can certainly understand why you would want another cleaner @Appleblossom What they are saying is not okay and you don't need to listen to that

Hugs and hugs and hugs to you Apple

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

@Zoe7

Thanks and hugs.

The NDIS is a work in progress. It can be overwhelming as at first there are a lot of people and different supports thrown at you and it takes a while to figure what will and wont work. I have super high expectations of myself to get along with all comers, learning that it is alright to find a better fit is new for me.

The focus on choice and control for the client is a good one and is intended I believe to weed out the things that dont work.

Hope you are doing alright?

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Yes No-one should have to listen to that negative judgmental talk @Appleblossom Neither you, nor I.

Interesting that you mention an early Retirement - it's actually been in the back of my mind, for several years.

In the face of mounting physical health problems & chronic illness, it might even be necessary.

My Dad semi-retired at age 55, though he still did some Coaching (being a Science Teacher).

Superannuation Claimable age has now been Raised to 60 y.o.- the Age Pension has now been raised to close to 70 y.o (for anyone my age).

So that poses some major challenges for any plans of early retirement - virtually all of my male relatives were gone, long before age 70.

Adge

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

It is alright to find the fit for yourself @Appleblossom We can't always get on with everyone ...for many reasons - but you have the right under any system to choose those that you fit better with - that will inevitably help you in both body and mind.

I am okay - really glad to be on holidays now - it has been one massive term.

Hi @Adge

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Drink Deep from the Holiday Well @Zoe7

Melbourne has a lot of lockdown atm. I am fine either way.

@Adge

Yes they put up the age to 70, which makes it tough but i Hope not impossible.

A neighbour has been doing it on newstart with vollie work at Vinnies to meet "obligations". She retired a couple years ago and can stop obligation in a couple months ...

I like the idea of keeping some work going through retirement age ... for interest ... pennies and dignity ... but with Covid and all ....just thinking small and looking after myself for a while. Maybe I dont need to keep stretching so much any more?? idk

Some people hate retirement.

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Hi and good morning and thanks for your responses here @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Adge @Maggie @Snowie @Shaz51 and sorry if I missed anyone.

Just catching up on the interesting conversation and observations here.

Struggling a bit putting my shattered self back together here today so I'm not up to responding individually atm sorry. Huge night last night with my brother spending nearly 2 hours talking about his experiences, memory and feelings about some very traumatic periods in my/our life and how I tell my story in ways that he finds totally invalidate his. His memories and experiences are so different from my own and I'm bouncing from stunned to trying to integrate it all and sad/guilty/ashamed for what others have been through as a result of my behaviours and diagnoses. And feeling like I simply have to concede that other peoples' memories are more likely to be correct than mine despite the fact that what was true for me at the time WAS true for me even when I was in psychosis, mania, PTSD triggered and reeling from traumatic events. ........... more I could say but will leave it that many big feelings and new chunks of memory are happening overnight and today.

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

@eth

That is huge. Sending you images which I hope soothe and support.

Alone and in Groups

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

@Appleblossom

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Wow that is some tough stuff to hear @eth but it is also good that you have that strong bond with your brother and he is able to talk to you about these things. That certainly does not make it easier to hear but everyone has their own version of things and knowing your brother's gives you insight both into how he has been affected as well as filling in some gaps for you. Really tough stuff eth so be kind to yourself now

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