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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Stunning picture @Mazarita 💞 I really miss our long raves - just sayin', no pressure. Sometimes less words say more than a lot of words can xx

Hey @Adge @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Blep and anyone else passing here today. Hope it's started gently and proceeds without a hitch.

@Blep I didn't know that name for a sleep training method either. I stayed in 2 mothercraft hospitals during my bub's first year and at one of them they put us through sleep training too - I needed to be trained as much as bub did! It felt harsh at first but over a fortnight it gradually worked and made things easier once we went home. My bub was 3 months premmie and it was super hard not to jump at every squeak once they came home after so many weeks of them in hospital without me. We did the sleep training at around 9 months I think. Ancient history - they are now 32 years old - but I have a lot of memories when I read your posts - in a good way.

Lovely to see you pop up @Zoe7 I've been seeing your posts elsewhere and hope things are starting to smooth out for you.

@Adge sending warm wishes your way too.

@Appleblossom

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Oh I'm glad @eth that it bought back good memories! Wow 3 months premmie that must of been a little difficult. I'm so happy though that you both pulled through it 😊

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Thanks @Blep they do have only limited partial sight - legally blind - as a result of being so early and all the extra oxygen needed to keep them alive, but are fiercely independent these days and have 2 kids of their own and a devoted partner. The early birth was caused by a Dr doing a pap smear. Hope your little man is fit and healthy.

In response to: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

@eth Beautiful pics. Peaceful. Nothing like nature to give us a felling hand.

Gosh, that’s really tough with your, now adult, perm baby. How sad, but amazing at the same time. People can overcome incredible odds. You certainly have had you share of tough times. 💞💞💞

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Haven't we all here, eh @Maggie My story doesn't really come out very often these days on the forums. Just a snippet here or there. And spending so much time at home means a lot less triggers, it's true, but also fears about regressing after working hard to be more mobile and engaged in the community and activities. This week I will have my first outing with a support worker since March 18th - 3 months ago! We will just go for a 'socially distanced' walk and have a yarn at the park if the weather is ok.

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

@eth Yes, you were doing well with driving lessons and writing groups before the virus hit big time. I guess it’s slowly finding your feet again, for all of us.

I hope your outing is a good start, weather permitting, in the park with some fresh air and nature, even though it’s sleeping at the moment, still beautiful, and cold. 💜💜

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Hey @eth Got a few more things sorted at work today but still feeling very 'put out' by some external supports that have not taken on board anything we (myself and support worker) have said. It is unfortunate as we are trying to get extra funding for one of our students and doing everything in our power to get that. All of a sudden their opinions and program matter (by one parent) more than those of us that see this student everyday and it does not align with what we are seeing. It is making it extremely difficult tfor us to fit the criteria needed to get the extra funding ...and it will be the child that is not given the support they need in the future This is pretty much taking up all my time and energy right now which is probably a good thing as the rest of the stuff I have been dealing with is pushed to the back of my mind for now.

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Hey @Zoe7 good to hear from you. I think it's wonderful that the child you mention has you going in to bat for them. Reminds me of all the years my child had special ed. support at school because of being legally blind. And all the times I had to fight for their hours not to be reduced or axed. Don't give up! It must be hard when there's one parent saying the support is not needed. Luckily (in a weird way) I was a single parent already when my child was born and always had sole custody - father had access from the start but not a legal right in the decisions I needed to make. I do hope things work out in the child's favour in your situation. So much of being a teacher is affected by what the parents do/don't do. That must be a minefield at times from your end. All you can do is do what you can - there must be a lot of letting go at times. Stay strong xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I do... I absolutely do like this. Soooo adorable! Thanks for sharing @Adge - day made!

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Oh my @eth! Would never have thought that could happen
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