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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 💙💜

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Re: A long rave

💜🌷 @eth

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth What you are going through (several or many things), sounds distressing for anyone.

I've been on the Public Housing Waitlist - yes you are right, it is often several year's wait (at least).

I'm sorry that you have to go through that, amongst other things.

I had to go into private rental in the meantime (despite cost), as the wait was too long - otherwise I was homeless.

All the best with everything.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your support @Adge @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @outlander

Very much appreciated.

Hope today is going smoothly for you xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am upset that so much land and housing is not going to the needy but to the pursuits of development companies ...

Tis best to think forward positively for yourself and keep your siblings role as a brother. Lines of dependency can get tricky. You can work it out. Have faith in you, rather than family at this point. They still can be there later.

@eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I really appreciate what you've said @Appleblossom and agree on both counts. Yesterday had another major situation with bro having a strong negative reaction to my psychiatrist's latest progress report. She wrote about how the longer I don't go out for the more likely agoraphobia will get worse, going out independently will be harder, mood swings happening more often, and that not being able to do things independent of family is reducing my sense of 'agency'. Unfortunately she also mentioned how family are seeing friends and going out but discouraging me to do so too. That they see me as the highest risk of getting covid and having the worst of symptoms requiring alternative care and therefor discourage me from getting out at all. Ultimately what bro was saying that they (bro and sil, who also was upset about the report) will not be my jailers and that if I think my mental health is getting worse by being here I know where the door is and I should just leave. And that I've been 'painting myself as a victim' and .... etc. I was so upset that I found it hard to speak - flooded with feelings and my throat actually constricts when I get that way, and crying. For the 2nd time this week. I retreated depressed last night and postponed cooking to share with them which I usually do on a Thursday night. But this morning they are both friendly and bro even said that if I want to find the right way to get out with a support worker instead of them then I should go ahead and do it. So that's a positive outcome thank goodness from a horrible interaction and couple of days. They are going to their farm today so at least I have a couple of days hanging by myself. I think we need time apart having been mostly at home together since mid March. And that some of the short fuses lately are related to covid restrictions.

My new psychologist just cancelled our 1st appointment that was meant to happen today - just to top everything. I was really looking forward to it as my other psychologist left (unwell) back in March and I was seeing her most weeks for over 3 years. New one says she will reschedule but has to pick up a sick child now - so it can't be helped, not her fault, but still has an effect on me.

Also when at the chemist yesterday there was a junkie swearing at the chemist and she told him to go away, which flared him up a whole lot more and he was blocking the only exit and going off so I was stuck in there and having a PTSD flight/freeze/flood response. In tears twice before I managed to get out of there. My bro was waiting outside for me at least, but that didn't help what happened in the shop.

Tagging @Adge @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @TAB @Former-Member @Appleblossom and anyone I've missed who has been supporting me lately. Also @frog @Shaz51 @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @Jupiter

I'm very grateful. I've been journalling a lot but writing here is very helpful too, especially when people respond.

I haven't been able to support others much lately which I apologise for, but I've just had too much to deal with offline.

Take care all xx

Tagging new community guides here too so you might get to know me a bit better. Please tag me into any of your personal threads so I can do likewise. I'll be around a bit tomorrow, particularly on the Saturday Soiree - all welcome!! thread if anyone wants to hang out together and meet some new people.

@Snowie @NatureLover @Maggie @dhr53 @WriterMelb @Got_the_tshirt @BPDSurvivor @Judi9877 @MDT @jem80 @Dadcaringalone @Jay-e

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

gee thats rough @eth sorry to hear that

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope your family reading the report have had a bit of a lesson though @eth
Sometimes people repsond like that when they are told in no uncertain terms.
But I think it's good that they also mentioned a support worker. Agorophobia is hard isn't it.
It sounds like you are doing somethings to get better, small steps are so crucial. I remember a time when I never wanted to leave the house due to crippling depression and anxiety. I wasn't agorophobic but i had bad social anxiety. These days it doesn't come as much, only in very specific circumstances with certain people and on certain topics (for example when I see an old friend of mine from a few years back and he always asks me about my relationship status). But I soon learned that not everyone is like that 1 person.

These days I talk to many people. Even barristas. To the point where I know their name and sometimes say thanks in their language.

I also empathise with you about the family side of things - there are lot of skeletons in the closet in my family and not just the 4 of us who live here in this house... i mean in extended family.

You my friend do sound a bit better which is good news. I always enjoy your updates. Happy to see you about.

Keep on keeping on.

- Hams

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your support @TAB and @MDT and your beautiful reply Hams. Very much appreciated. Yes I'm a little better today - partly coz I took a prn med about 5am and am probably still feeling it a bit. But also coz I get to be here by myself til tomorrow.

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