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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Angels333 @TAB @outlander @Former-Member @MDT @Shaz51 @Jupiter @Exoplanet @CheerBear @Maggie @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Mazarita @Adge and to anyone else passing here today. Once again I've been absent for a couple of days so I want to thank those who have tagged me and keep me in the loop. I will read all your posts shortly and respond where I can but wanted to say hi here first - so Hi!

I had a really hard day yesterday - my hand tremors came back with a vengeance and made it impossible for me to do a couple of things the way I wanted to (eg self help phone banking). I was able to find other ways to achieve the tasks (and simply avoided some) but it really really spiked my anxiety. I have been worrying about regressing during this time of not being able to do anything independently of family, increased agoraphobia etc and this happening seemed to confirm those fears are soundly based. I am so afraid of the loss of independence I had when I had the tremors for a few years before I came here. A change of meds as soon as I started with a new psychiatrist in 2017 seemed to be what made them go away. I was really unprepared to feel them again so strongly, so many feelings and fears. None of my meds have changed so I don't know what's caused it. And then I upset my brother with the way I expressed that anxiety. It was really hard to get through that interaction, which lasted around 1/2 an hour. He really doesn't understand that when I'm panicked (or 'flooded' with feelings, adrenalin etc) I am not able to just choose to control my thinking or speech. He was angry and I felt totally shattered, defensive and weepy. And then started fearing for my situation here - I really don't want to make others have those feelings. I could rave more about it here but I think you get the picture by now. Have to do some more online tasks today and am just hoping the tremor doesn't happen again. Dr's call it an 'intention tremor' and it is very much task related, particularly when it's anything online relating to finances. I still have to change my bank details on all the things that are auto deducted since being hacked 10 days ago. And I need to do an online shopping order. Delaying getting started atm.

Thanks for listening.

I hope today has started gently for you all and goes according to plan for everyone (myself included). Take care until we speak again. xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I don’t know what to say, it sounds overwhelming and scary. I want to let you know I’m hearing you, caring, and sending 💙💙💙💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth
You are going through a fair bit hey.
Just take it step by step. Prioritise what you need to as well.
Keep us posted and take care my friend

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 👂👀😔💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks Mags and Hams @Maggie @MDT and you too @Former-Member xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

geez thats hard @eth hopefully it blows over til you can find own place. Ive been turfed out a few times, who evers place it is is always right it seems no matter how irrational or wrong they are, best not to have to rely on others in the long run.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @TAB s. Yeah it definitely feels like they have the power in this situation. Have just had to forward them a copy of my latest psychiatrist's report and fear another reaction coz of some of what's in it. Fingers crossed.

Doing the public housing applic'n just means I go on a waiting list that is many years long, I really don't have any other options e.g. private rental coz I simply can't afford it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

oh I thought you were getting a place soon @eth yes rent is a huge part of my income, but cant bear not having my own space, well site caravan wasnt bad at times, well except for walls could put hands through and a/c that barely worked etc but guess could have addressed that even if at own expense. Hope things settle again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending lots of hugs and love @eth it sounds really difficult atm. I can understand the regression of things, this pandemic has affected many people esp those with mh issues. Its made it really hard to see our supports and keep working forward with everything.
Im sorry about your tremor too, that sounds like a challange in itself and hope that the dr might be able to work out what might have brought it out now if its been controlled for a while-maybe its your body's reaction to stress and anxiety atm?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander low on words atm xx

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