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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A very wise choice this afternoon @eth We all need some down time whether that be from life itself or paperwork - so great you gave yourself a break and did nothing this afternoon 👍

We understand your psychs position - and of course her health (as everyone else's) comes first but that does not help you and is extremely frustrating. What may just be a small thing for her is pretty massive in your life so I can understand the stress and anxiety around that.

It is difficult with your brother - you are in a safe place with support around you - and you very much need that but I also have seen what massive steps you have taken for yourself over the last year so even though this thinking of moving is difficult it is definitely something you can do. I can certainly see where your brother is coming from - they have their own life and own plans but I also have no doubt they would not want you to feel as though you are being 'kicked out' - housing will take time but getting the process started is a step forward for all of you.

I find change extremely difficult - as I suspect you do - and why you are not feeling on top of things the potential for having to move would be extra stressful. Take your time Eth and do it at your own pace - take those breaks from it all when you need to and plenty of self care

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

ha yeah it only took a pandemic and spending super to do it lol @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks a lot for understanding and support @Zoe7 I really appreciate it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Anytime @eth Here for you when I can Hon

What is on the agenda for this evening?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No plans or agenda for tonight @Zoe7 Will try to have a healthier dinner (skipped it last night) and then probs just telly. How about you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Pretty much the same for me tonight too @eth I have some washing up to do and things to put away - and the usual Toby toys to pick up but the rest of the evening will be on the couch in front of the tv. There is a show on tonight I have been watching so will settle in to watch that then head to bed - really tired again today and after I have the pain meds it will make me sleepier (I hope as they usually do). Another day in front of the screen tomorrow so any extra rest I can get tonight will help.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth for your kind thoughts and love. I return those to you also. 😊🌺

Hey @TAB ... well done with the new bed. Money well spent (even if its super 😵). A decent sound sleep is so so important to wellbeing. I need a new bed too, brass bed is falling to pieces. Mattress is breaking up badly. Like you, I keep thinking ... nahh its not that bad, money is better spent elsewhere, etc.

Actually it was Mr Sherry's bed from his previous marriage. Thats how old it is ... we've been married 22 years. And it wasnt particularly new when I came along. Now that I think about it ... I definitely need that bed, or at least mattress, replaced. Actually I rarely sleep in that bed anyway. I moved into the spare room a couple of years ago. It was the only chance either of us had of getting any sleep at all. Between both of us, a sound nights sleep just never happens. My PTSD means I am awake much of the night.

Then when Hubby became so unwell some 2 years ago ... I decided it was time to move out. He constantly hits me when he is asleep ... fairly common with Parkinsons Disease ... where they act out their dreams. And given he also has PTSD from his military days, his dreams are violent and vivid.

But my bed is very ordinary too, so we really could use 2 new beds. Maybe spend the next stimulus package on a bed. That means waiting until July of course.

Sherry

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What are the pain killers for @Zoe7 ? Have you done your back again? Hope you get the rest you need. What show are you watching? I have f.a. reception on my telly but can get most shows online.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So glad to hear you have that 2nd room to call your own @Former-Member at least at night. Even if you are awake, it has to be more restful than being in the same bed as Mr sounds like it would be. I really wish I could give you more peace in your life. xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

def too old re beds @Former-Member you wont know yourself so they say. Can get interest free loans through good shepherd microfinance , DVA might have something as well

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