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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice to see you as always @eth
I enjoy your drop in. Great article too. I can relate to it very much so

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hearing you @Zoe7 I know it's not the same for everyone. Good to hear your anxiety levels have actually been lower. You've done an amazing job of keeping it together over the last - aghast - nearly 2 months. For quite a while I also felt like I had an advantage having been so practiced at isolation for so many years in my not so distant past. I can see quite clearly some triggers for my increased depression and anxiety lately, but having read the article I realised that some of it might have been happening even without those triggers. Some days I have what I call endogenous anxiety - it's running deep and kind of finding a hook to hang on so to speak. I'm really impressed the way you've kept so motivated and independently productive through all this. You give me hope.

2 major issues for me now. 1 is the admin paperwork required by the new psychologist I found by myself. Have talked about all the disappointments and consequences of the way my previous one had to leave so suddenly and didn't do paperwork I need, for both a new psychologist and the 2. public housing application. My bro brought it up again last night. So I've woken quite preoccupied by all the details involved in both situations.

Thanks for your responses and support @Former-Member @TAB @Maggie @MDT @outlander @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Adge @Exoplanet @Snowie @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @Wanderer @Molliex @Bunniekins @frog @Former-Member I hope to reply later today. Yet another zoom meeting this morning with the disability alliance - I am finding them helpful tho'. This morning's topic is the 'connection tree' they have set up, where people can share what's going on and ask for or offer support and resources to each other.

Hope today has started gently for all and continues peacefully. Take care and stay kind everyone xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

🙂 @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth hope housing and psych go okay

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @MDT and @TAB hope you're both doing ok today.

Thinking of you @Former-Member and sending love xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Is that a not so subtle hint from your brother to think about moving @eth or is it a push for you to have more independence - either way what are your feelings?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A bit of both I think @Zoe7 . I have so many feelings about it - insecurity and apprehension are probably the strongest. Fear that some of the experiences I had in public housing before I came here will be repeated. Feeling abandoned by my psychologist, even tho' I know she was put on bed rest by her Dr, that she didn't do the supporting paperwork she had comitted to some weeks before she had to stop seeing people. I understand the reasons that bro wants me to have a back-up plan, but that doesn't make it any easier in the reality of what it means for me. He is clear that this (where I live) is not a 'forever' situation - he and sil want to do other things in their life that getting away from a huge mortgage would enable - fair enough. But I can't very well ask a new psychologist for this type of support letter when they are just getting to know me. Turmoil and avoidance of the admin needed are peaking today. So I gave myself an afternoon of telly instead of doing any of it. Planning to get stuck into it tomorrow. Thanks for asking.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

got my new bed today @eth it s been 3 plus years in muddling and obsfucation lol have the the money, dont have the money, old bed not that bad (?) .. tell self leaving soon anyway so ended up up sleeping on floor with worn out old mattress after threw base didnt seem as bad lol

tonight will be a shock

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Now that's what I call self-care @TAB !

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Kind thoughts to you too @Adge I'm hearing you re isolation effects. Take care friend.

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