FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

25,391 - 25,400 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Here is a link to an article that describes the 3/4 phase of isolation - I'm really relating strongly to it. My support worker told me about it. Thought some of you might find it an interesting read. Apparently it's like this for a lot of people at the moment. Tag me if you want to talk about it.

https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/coronavirus-covid19-isolation-third-quarter-phenomenon-has-begun/12190270

@Mazarita @Adge @Appleblossom @outlander @Zoe7 @Silenus @Former-Member @Jupiter @Former-Member @CheerBear @frog @Teej @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @Former-Member @Snowie @Sans911 @Maggie @TAB @MDT @Angels333 @Molliex @Sophia1 @Faith-and-Hope @saturnzoon @Gazza75 @Wanderer @eudemonism @Former-Member @Former-Member @Jacques - please tag anyone else you think might be interested. There are lots of people I think would be resonating deeply with the concepts it talks about. And I've seen some of the trends it mentions occurring here on the forums. My main motivation in sharing this is to say to everyone - whatever you're feeling is okay to be feeling. We have each other and that helps us feel less alone. I've been missing you folks while I've not been here much, but I still know you're here and we've got each others' backs. Take care of yourselves however you can and stay kind folks xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the tag @eth , I'll look at the link sometime tonight. I've been off here for a few months too as you all know but thought I'd try coming back for a bit. I hope you're well, take care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds normal to me @eth but gone to 3/4 here maybe just no sense of time and bit down

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth ... I will go read that shortly. How nice to get your notification. I have been thinking of you a lot the past couple of days. In fact it was on my mind to come here and check in with you. Then I got your notice.

Its really good to hear from you, to see you. I know you have drifted in and out of the forums a little bit, but nowhere near as much as you normally would. I also realise you are 'rationing' your time online, in an effort to self care during a difficult time. I hope things are on the improve for you, but understand your need to step back occasionally. Thinking of you ... and missing having you around.

I will go now and read that article.

Sherry

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member , just wanted to say hello, and that the picture you put is cute, although I know it wasn't directed at me (no one probably missed me but that's fine I guess). Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth a very interesting article. 💚💚

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Former-Member 😊 Hello back to you also. 👋 Yes I had noticed your absence, although I was absent for some of that time too. 🌺 I hope you are doing okay, and taking good care of yourself. Love your new profile picture.

@eth ... just read the article. Very interesting and yes, I can certainly see a lot of what they are talking about, emerging in society, household and yep, even here on the forums. Of more interest is what they said ... that after isolation is over, many choose to do it all over again (eg astranauts, antarctic, etc). And how people change as a result, especially the differences between the sexes. Men are more likely to seek support socially. While women are likely to gain confidence and self sufficiency. Hmmmm ... I will just chew over that one for a bit.

Sherry 🌺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth Read the article but more for others than myself. This isolation really doesn't affect me - it is pretty much life as normal for me. I still have work, do my shopping, go to the chemist, the occasional Bunnings trip and the rest of the time at home - and that is my normal. There are some positives that impact my life - less traffic means a quicker trip to work and home, social distancing means I do not have to be close to people and therefore my anxiety does not increase when others get too close and more places are providing 'click and collect' so I can do that rather than shop in store for a lot of things I need. The only negatives for me are not seeing my sister but that is also decreasing my stress levels as I do not have to deal with tension in their house. The other negative is not seeing my pdoc as often but until this last couple of weeks I haven't really needed to - and I still have communication with my GP and can call/text anytime - so pretty ,uch covered on the support front. I am more than happy to be at home as that is my normal so isolation, on the whole, is actually a positive.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you, didn't think anyone would notice I was gone. I hope you're well. Thanks, found the profile picture on Google like all of my old ones. Yours is cute too @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @eth Yes that would probably be helpful, for me to read.

I am very isolated, under normal (non-Virus Lockdown) circumstances.

Not ever by choice.

This situation has made it far worse - & is continuing beyond many people's level of tolerance.

For So So Long....

Kind thoughts,

Adge

25,391 - 25,400 of 27,230