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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Big loves to you too, @CheerBear. Ciao for now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning and thanks for the encouragement @Mazarita @CheerBear @Former-Member and good morning to anyone else who's around. Sending strength and peace to all those being challenged by life at the moment. Hoping all find some positives today.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good morning @Mazarita

i seemed to have missed something somehwere.. a new diagnosis? you dont have to share again if your not up for it or itll make you upset.

it can be really hard to tackle a new diagnosis though, im sure your doing your very best to deal with it

sending you lots of hugs too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander, yesterday my psychologist told me she believes I have 'avoidant personality disorder', and have probably had it my whole life, based on what I have told her. Just finding it a bit hard to come to terms with at this stage, but will be okay with a bit of time to digest, I think. Thanks for caring, more hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

ah ok thanks for sharing @Mazarita yes ti can be quite daunting cant it having a new diagnosis

maybe there is a type of therapy best suited to this?

i have faith that youll be ok in time but its got to absorb and sink in first

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita ......

For me, the only value in a diagnosis is if it helps you in some way ..... treatment, life changes, medication, life outcomes .....

I hope this settles in somewhere with you and helps you in a positive way ..... brings a new freedom or a new outlook / viewpoint .....

Maybe ask the question next time you see the therapist ? "How can this information help me ?"

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope.

Hi @eth and everyone, wondering how your day has been. Getting on to 6pm here, storms all round but haven't hit over the top of us so far. Bureau is forecasting storms rolling through this region for the next several hours.

I've been melancholy today. I think my friend's housing journey is getting to me too. She was very depressed when I visited today. C went out and did some food shopping for her (she was too ill today to do it) and I did a couple of things on the computer for her while I was there and showed her another place she'd not seen on the realestate website. Lunch and coffee together and she seemed in a better mood than when we arrived, though still emotionally delicate.

I am also mid-medication-change with a higher dose of anti-depressants. So far I am not feeling better (about 10 days in), actually I feel worse in some ways, but I know it could take longer to kick in (though usually it's pretty fast with me).

And then there's the repetitively sad thoughts brought up with the new diagnosis. Really some kind of mourning for my whole life in a way. Feeling so defective and badly done by in some ways. Many sad thoughts and feelings. At the same time I am still questioning whether my fear in relation to the social world is really serious enough to warrant this new label. I will indeed also talk to her about what the benefit of having this diagnosis might be.

Over and out for now. Hoping the evening brings kind feelings for all of us.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hugs @Mazarita you sound very self aware which is good to see. its sounded like a nice day besides those pesky thoughts. medication changed are quite challanging, if you feeling worse though its worth meantioning to your gp.

hugs all round xox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, Niqua. It seems we are online at the same time, or close to it. Feel like a bit of real time chat? Either way, sending love to you. @Former-Member

Good morning, @CheerBear, hope today unfolds sweetly for you.

Good morning, @eth, I'm thinking things might be intense for you in some ways just now. How's it going?

Good morning, @Faith-and-Hope, you seem to have been travelling a lot over recent months. Are you in the west now? Sending kind feelings for your day.

Good morning, @Teej, I was thinking about you overnight. Even though you may not feel like posting at the moment, just wanted to send a hi and hug.

Good morning, @outlander. Hope you got an okay sleep last night. Thanks for your reply to my last post. It will be okay. I have an appointment to see my psychiatrist again at the end of next week and I will talk to him about it then. He is the one who prescribes changes to my medications. I know that these med changes can make me a bit strange for a while until the new dose settles in the system. It's still fairly early days with it yet so I think I just need to weather it for now. Hope today has some good moments for you. Any plans?

Good morning, @everyone, may this Sunday hold good things for all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita and all ☺ Slow start for me here this morning (not going to complain about that!).

Hope the day is a good one for you ❤
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