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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good to hear you have had a slower, more relaxing start to the day, @CheerBear. Good to meet you in the morning again too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Mazy @Mazarita, Claire @outlander, Cheerbear @CheerBear, Eth @eth and Everybody,

I'm setting up a huge box, taking the top off of it entirely and placing a big sign that says - 'free hugs for all, double-dipping encouraged :D'.

I maintained the dishes again yesterday 🙂 I got the first lot of washing that I'd put on the line, off the line; and put the second lot of washing out on the line 😄 I might not have gotten as far as 'putting the washing away', but those things are clean and; I roll more than fold, but they're in plastic shopping bags, hanging off the drawer knobs in the bedroom; so they'll stay clean and won't get spread all over the house 😉

It was a beautiful day yesterday, the sky was almost clear and what little clouds lay on the horizon where white and fluffy. I decided it was 'safe' to go to a favourite spot to walk the dogs. I still park a fair way up from the end of the road, or entrance to this 'park' {a vast expanse of land that has been marked to be left alone}; I got a little bogged there once before - in perfectly dry weather! It's just really, really fine grained soil - very much like sand.

We had a lovely walk, the temperature was perfect, if not cooler than your usual Summer afternoon. This place in particular has soil that's very, very much like sand. I call it my Beach 🙂 and often take my shoes off on the wander back to the car, just to feel the cool, softness of it 🙂

I've only had a little rain here, just enough to put a puddle in my dam, but enough that every time I go outside, I realize I need to mow! I haven't got anything planted in my gardens, the only things I have growing are 2 capsicums in pots 🙂 and I'd better prop the cotton sheet 'roof' up over them or they start growing all crooked! 😄

I'm on coffee number 2 and can see out my window, that it's another beautiful day 😄 Cheerbear, your view is delightful! That's the sort of green I'd like to visit!! I can imagine sitting under that Apricot tree, in my new beaut recliner camp chair, having afternoon tea on a Summers afternoon 🙂 If it had a creek or river it'd be perfect!:)!

How's my beautiful cyber-grandgirl Claire? I haven't kept up with where your at and I'm still having the problem where when I click on a post on my list - it takes me to a random post on that thread. I'll give you a granny-hug and a stinky smokers kiss on the forehead, and hope that everything's going well for you ❤️

Thinking of you Eth, hope your staying strong 🙂

I have been having a couple of naps {which I usually try to avoid}, ever since that virus got me on the way back from the Center, I've been a bit off. Not ill, but tired and somethings not quite right with my insides. I do think the sleep pattern is very important to my 'balance'; maybe that's why I get confused, it does kind of feel like a part of the cycle - but a bit exasperated. It does feel weird - like I know I'm teetering on the edge of a cliff, and I know I'm going to fall off . . . and I know I do it all the time! I know somethings 'out-of-wack' because I've been waking up early! Weird!

I'm so sorry to hear you were over-loaded to tears Mazy<3! But I still hope the thoughts that the new diagnosis is making you go through, are helping. Not everything is your fault, there are reasons that a person would develop 'avoidance personality' I'd think. You have every right to feel sorry for the bad things that have happened to you, no matter how long ago they were - they were bad and that is sorrowful. Those experiences are a part of who you developed into, they are not your fault. Knowing that may help manage the quality of your life and as such improve the experiences of the lives around you.

Love to everyone that wants it

Niqua

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

SNAP! Mazy @Mazarita I was posting while you posted 😄

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In the east today @Mazarita .....

👋💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Awesome to read your latest rave, Niqua, and in real time, while you are sitting there maybe waiting for this reply.

I won't keep you waiting though. Just let me say hooray!! for all the things you are getting done, and the special place you describe going to. Feet in soft earth sounds divine. Your writing, as usual, is so vivid and good to read.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How did you sleep Mazy? and how are you feeling today? I slept fine, just woke early and am feeling fine too 🙂

@Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Awesome that you slept and woke feeling fine. It comes across in your writing too.

I'm in a bit of a wild and woolly state this morning. Went to bed about 1am, woke again about 3.30am and haven't slept since. Will be going back for more. I've been madly researching 'avoidant personality disorder' on the net, including scholarly articles. Trying to get my head around it. Kind of enjoying the obsession in a weird way. That's me at the moment, weird. I welcome your sunny face today!

Anything planned for today? @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You've only had a couple of hours sleep girl - get back to bed! 😉 I think it's a good thing that your researching this diagnosis. As you start to 'get your head around it' your kind of learning a bit more about yourself, I think?

I welcome your wonderfully weird face today too 😄 Nothing in particular planned, another walk somewhere later in the afternoon, playing with camp packing {that's almost a daily activity for me:)}, and I should think about mowing when it cools down this evening {I should think about it at least :D}.

@Mazarita

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a good idea @Mazarita i hope he can provide some answers too. 💜
When do you see your psychologist next? I think you have so many questions about your new diagnoses that you dont know where to start or how to go about it and i find talking about it can help .... researching is good too i do it alot but sometimes physically talking and being helped through the initial stages of abosrbency can ease those fears/anxieties surrounding it.
Im not sure on plans yet. Only just starting to emerge from hibernation lol and having a cuppa. Thats a start 🙂


Good morning @CheerBear slow start here too. Only just getting up. Loved your view pic too i only seen it this morning as i forgot while i was waiting for it to come up. Hopefully your troubles ease soon too ❤❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha, thinking is the prelude to doing with any luck, re the lawn mowing. I have a friend on Facebook who I relate to, a young guy who makes music who I was also briefly in a band with (yes, true, at age 50, but only for three band rehearsals) Anyway he's constantly moaning on FB about the pointlessness of lawn mowing, which he has to do where he lives now. It makes me giggle, that would be me, or more likely it just wouldn't get done.

Yes, knowledge is power. I think it's okay that this is my current obsession. It will pass and, as you say, I will learn things on the way.

A walk in the afternoon sounds good. The tides are in the wrong position for me being able to walk the beach today. Also there's still rain around, possibly more storms. So the chances are a bit slim today for me getting out there. I think mainly I'll be catching up on sleep for a while. Still feeling awake at the moment though.

@Former-Member

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