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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It’s interesting how we process these things @Mazarita. It’s also interesting to read what you are doing in therapy. I guess mine is kind of similar in working on self esteem and achievement. I do think it’s always awesome when you find someone who gets you. I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and although she is really caring and so different from the others hasn’t quite got me yet. I left a little distressed but I managed it ok for a change. Wow I’ve written lots of all about me :face_with_rolling_eyes:😳. It wasn’t my intention.

I think my eyes are finally closing. I’ll get two hours sleep before I have to take my son to work I hope you get some sleep too. 🤗💜

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It’s lovely to see you for a quick morning catch up @CheerBear. I’m so pleased for you that you have some improvement again. I hope you recover quickly now. I’m sure the bizarre weather isn’t helping. I just read we are in La Niña officially now, although a mild one. I hope it’s not too bad.

Hoping you are enjoying the calm before LF get up. Here’s hoping you find something to smile at today 💜🤗

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, so good to hear you are feeling a bit better this morning, though I know it is probably not 'all better' just yet. With @Teej's all nighter, and my early awakening about 1.30am (haven't slept since), we haven't had much of the zzzzzs between us.

I am taking the thoughts about the new diagnosis slowly, @CheerBear, or at least as slowly as my mind will let me go. It seems like a burden in one way to be labelled with a personality disorder. On the other hand, it seems more treatable in a way. My psych was really empathetic about the experiences I have described to her, and about people with this diagnosis in general. I think it will be okay. The main thing is that I am seeing her and getting the benefit of the talk therapy with her (really the main part of the treatment I think). Hopefully this will continue into next year, I'd really like to continue now. She seems like a good support, even if I am a little thrown by this new diagnosis thing.

Do either of you have any plans today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Missed that earlier post from you, @Teej. Sleep well. Lovely to see you here.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope the sleep is good @Teej and that today has something that feels nice for you in it 💗 Great to briefly bump into you this morning.

You have an incredible inner calmness @Mazarita. I feel it through the screen. Taking it slowly sounds like a great way to do it. There's good to being able to piece things together in a way that allows them to be worked through to benefit you. My insides squirm thinking about some of the labels out there, but the forum has taught me the good that can come from diagnosis especially with someone you connect with and trust, as it seems you do with your psych. It's been great to follow your journey with her. I think right from the start you felt good about it?

Today I am off to a breakfast meeting at school. It means my kids will all see the inside of before school care for the first time. They're not happy about it haha. Probably not much after that. As you said, feeling better is not really all better just yet. Maybe some house work and some stitching.

How about yourself?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, thanks for your comments about calmness. I go for some point of calm in myself. Perhaps it's the eye of the storm!

Yes, I did feel right about the psychologist from the first session.

It was really interesting to read what you wrote in the other thread about the assistance you've (resourcefully) been able to access. It's good to know you reach out when needed.

I'm feeling for the LF having to go off to childcare for the morning. Glad you have that option though.

I'm hoping to get my washing done today. If it is sunny again like yesterday, I'd love a walk on the beach, but I haven't worked out the tides yet so not sure if the timing will work. Will go back and sleep more before anything so it's going to depend a bit on what time I wake too. Staying up most of the night as I've done is naughty.

Hope your meeting goes well, CB.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha you make me smile lots @Mazarita 😊

I better get said LF up and moving. It'll be less than an hour with breakfast and fun activities and I will be there in the room next door. But it may as well be the end of the actual world for them! They'll be right!

Hope you get your walk in today and you enjoy it if you do. I will add washing to my list also. Maybe 😉

Great to see you ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Everyone

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all @Mazarita @CheerBear @Teej @Former-Member @Appleblossom @outlander Hoping today is going well for you all so far.

Great to see you @Teej - hoping you and @Mazarita have managed some sleep by now. Looking forward to a catch up some time as I hardly ever see you these days.

@Mazarita getting an additional diagnosis is such a mixed bag isn't it? On the one hand it's confronting and hard to come to terms with a new label to add to the picture, on the other hand it means you can research it and learn to manage it somewhat with added awareness and also receive more specific treatment. I'm feeling for you at this time. I identify with a lot of the symptoms you describe too, but in my case those symptoms are put down to the cPTSD. I'm glad for you that you have a good rapport with your psychologist. I do too and it makes a world of difference to leave each session knowing progress has been made.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 💜
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