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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have no interest in contact with you @Former-Member, do not tag me again. I remember well the conflict we had when you were posting under a different name.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, I managed some sleep today - until about 3.30pm! Wandered around in a thick fog for a while after rising, and then friend invited me and C for dinner, so went there again. There's an application in already for a place she's seeing on Monday. She already has her heart set on it, and is taking a break from the stress today. It too is within walking distance from our place. Fingers crossed again that this one is the one.

Pondering the additional diagnosis has taken my mind for most of today (the part of it I've been awake so far). Thoughts kept popping into my mind about it even during conversations with C and friend about different things. Intrusive thoughts that I kept moving to one side. My mood has correspondendingly become more subdued and depressed about it over the hours since waking. I mean, I'm 55, already have a major MI diagnosis. I wonder what the point of getting a second one is at this point. I guess it helps her focus better on how to treat me. But I just don't like the term 'avoidant' (nor do I like the term 'personality disorder'). I also am not sure I fully fit that profile. I think I'm a bit too socially competent for APD. On the other hand, on the inside, I relate to much of what is described in information about APD, and there are definitely lots of events in my life that might confirm it. My psychologist thinks it is specifically related to spending too much time alone as a child, and to the neglect I experienced, a pattern that has continued into my adult years (whole life).

It's good to hear you speaking so positively about your psychologist too. This moment with mine is a bit challenging, but I know that's likely part of the process too.

Hope your day has been okay and that the evening is treating you well. Hugs!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita wondering if you're around in these wee hours this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, I'm online now too if you'd like to chat. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, haha, snap, posted within seconds of each other!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

SNAP again @Mazarita It's good to catch you. Have your thoughts settled or are you still stirred up about the new diagnosis? Glad to hear at least you had some company last night and a good rest yesterday. I'm feeling stirred up myself as my quit date rapidly approaches. My brother gets back late tonight and I want to stop smoking completely before he arrives. I indulged a bit more again today, kept on telling myself each one was the last one! Did you ever manage to give up the other smoking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Tomorrow I am going to Google 'Avoidant Personality Disorder' @Mazarita and see what it entails because I am interested in that it's not something that comes up too often.

Goodnight, I'm off. 🙂

Hi btw @eth! *waves*

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I am still a bit stirred up. Have been reading about it on the net. That has helped a bit actually because it helps me understand, and have compassion for myself, with what's described that I relate to. I haven't yet managed to kick all smoking habits. I gave up green for six months and then fell off the wagon with it and am still smoking. I have a longer term quit date for that (when I next visit my mum interstate and can't access it). After that the challenge will be tobacco only. I'm really amazed and impressed at how quickly you've progressed this smoking challenge. Wishing you the very best with it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Cool, @Queenie. I am interested to hear any thoughts you have about it. Goodnight again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear you are feeling compassionate to yourself @Mazarita. And informing yourself with research. Did your pDoc give you any reading material on the new diagnosis or exercises to do at home?

Sorry to hear you slipped with the other. Your new goal sounds sensible. And the 6 month break was a great achievment - you know what it feels like for next time.

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