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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge @Mazarita @Maggie @Owlunar @eth @Shaz51 good morning guys, hope everything is going well for you. I'm currently sitting here at the docs waiting for my regular check up. let me tell you. I get massive anxiety about it. there's nothing to fear, yet here I still am sitting, worrying, waiting. about what I'm afraid of, I have no idea. I just know I hate waiting. 😣

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@octavia, how did you go today my friend xxx

Hello @Mazarita , @Adge , @Maggie , @Owlunar

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I do exactly the same @octavia . I hope you are home relaxing. 💜💜💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 @Maggie I got through it ladies. it's weird, its like I shift into another state of being. it happens instantly and I have no way to stop it. I just try to keep my mind occupied, it keeps me half calm. and as soon as they call my name, it just washes away and I'm back to normal me. i can't figure out why and I can't seem to be able to beat it. it's just a part of me I guess

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia It's really good that you are supportive of your introverted teenager (as you said).

My parents did not support me at that age (about 35 years ago) - I am 50, 51 in March.

I come from a highly dysfunctional family - involving severe neglect, SA, EA, etc (my childhood) - which is why I have Complex PTSD.

I work in disability support, with people with very "challenging behaviours" (it's called). They can be aggressive regularly.

A highly social position (work) - which is very draining, especially for introverted people.

I have had little or no support, since my marriage ended 9 years ago - & have lived alone, since then.

I survived 2 emergency bowel surgeries (November 2014), a stoma & bag, 3rd Reversal bowel surgery, then a 4th surgery (last March).

Dad died in the middle of all of that (March 2016) - my Mum & 4 younger siblings, all live interstate in NSW. I am the oldest of 5 siblings.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I get anxious at Drs too @octavia Especially waiting.

It sounds like you got through it really well, in the end.

I need to find a new GP.

I haven't got one.

My Dr left at the time of my last bowel surgery.

Probably need to get some tests done.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge what a really hard run of life you have had. you're not alone, sometimes we get dealt a really bad hand in life. it's the way you pick yourself up and conduct yourself after the fallout, is the most important thing. sounds to me, you are trying your best. you're talking and opening up your story to us. what's your next move? here's a little more about my life.

I have also been through SA as a child. I mentally blocked it out, and it's still hard to this day to talk about it. my mother doesn't even know, as it was her father, I don't want her to know. maybe it's fear of rejection that I won't be believed or it will shatter her dreams of what she thinks her father was. maybe she suffered just like me. I will never know. I can live with that. am I'm wrong?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia I'm so sorry to hear that you've been through SA & family hardship too.

Whether to disclose or not (& who to) is a very personal decision.

So it's never wrong, just the decision that you (or I) think best - with the reasons that we have.

Apparently perpetrators almost always deny having done what they did (or the impact).

In my case, I did tell my Mum, my Dad & 2 younger brothers.

Dad was the most understanding (he passed away 4 years ago).

Mum responded defensively (which hurt) - focusing only on herself, offering me no words of support.

My brothers refused to acknowledge what I had told them (would not talk about it), & changed the subject.

Unfortunately we cannot predict how people will respond - or know who might be supportive (& who not).

I hope you've had a good day today.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia and @Adge sending you support. I too have a history of childhood SA and family violence. I get how difficult it can be to choose who to disclose to.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth

I hope your day is a good one.

Adge

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