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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @PeppiPatty and everyone 💜

@PeppiPatty im glad your hubby is up and walking again and i hope he sees how much youve helped him. Im glad your letting him do things for himself even though he doesnt seem to like it but it is necessary before you burn right out.
Its hard hearing those words and constant suggestions , makes us feel like crap really but you are a worthy kind and beautiful person @PeppiPatty i can tell by your writing so please try to remember that. Dont let the world change your smile, let the smile change the world.

Your son is growing up and being 23 its ok to step back now and let him make his own decisions, own mistakes and successes. Thats how we learn. I think its great your supporting him as much as you are but yes it is fine now to step back and let him grow his own way. 💜

Eearing making does sound quite interesting... ive never done that before. Id love to see some of the past earrings youve made if you have any pics of them...

Not sure what i want to do as yet, enjoying a bit of peace atm and its nice. But am looking at doing some art classes just havent found any yet.

I love the pic you put up. How intriguing 💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi Niqua, this is a longish reply to your message yesterday morning. So you are a Sagg. Cool! I am Leo.

I like that I can be part of the universe moving things into place for my friend. It's getting very intense now and it's really getting to my friend. It's getting to me too, though not as hard obviously, and I feel a bit obsessed. Today we prepared an application for a place she knows she wants even without seeing more than the photos of it. It's just down the street from our place, easy walking distance! I will be going with her to see it tomorrow. And then, as soon as we have the code that says she's seen the inside of it (yes, that's a thing), she intends to submit our online application. And hopefully be first in the door with it. It's a good application. She has a solid rental history. Here's hoping they offer her the lease.

Your recent rain sounds so lovely. It was meant to be storming here over the weekend and especially today but so far it hasn't showed, though it's been raining on and off the whole time. Cooler today too. I've been sleeping with just a corner of doona over me, under the ceiling fan, as I sleep all year round. I find it comforting.

I wonder if you went to the weir for the picnic lunch. Sounded nice. And the big smoke too. I like Lifeline (probably spend more time in there than any other shop), and Aldi is good for its cheaper prices. Recliner folding chairs! Cool invention! @Former-Member

Hi @eth, how are you feeling today? I hope the cough is clearing and that your dentist appointment went well. Looking forward to meeting up with you in real time soon, I hope.

Hi @outlander, @PeppiPatty, @Appleblossom, @Shaz51, @CheerBear and everyone. Hope everyone sleeps well tonight and wakes up with a fresh spirit tomorrow.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita @eth and everybody

Thanks for tagging me @Mazarita

I am tired and it just turned 12

Today was a bit mixed

so logging off.

Good night All

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear. I've been up for a while and have noticed you around not too long ago. Just saying hi.

From reading some of your recent posts in the nest thread, I suspect you are still focussing on healing from the nasty lurgy. It sounds a lot like @eth's, and like the one I had a few weeks ago. The coughing and breathing troubles that create really sick feelings. Looking forward to hearing you both feeling better again.

Today is the big day for my friend, inspecting the place she really wants, about eight blocks of units away from our place, on the same street. It will be awesome if we get to live so close. Mainly though she just needs to find a place to live now, for the sake of her mental health. She was falling apart with the stress yesterday and on the weekend. All good wishes for this one to work for her are appreciated.

I've had very choppy sleep overnight, meaning I've woken up after an hour, then again after two, then again after another couple, and will be going back for more again soon.

Best for the new day to all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita ☺ Thank you for your hi. I slept wishing I had an armchair like yours last night. Far it is a knock you around one! Our kind-of-creepy-but-heart-is-probably-in-the-right-place neighbour offered me something from his medicine stash after he apparently heard me coughing all night the night before last. I'm heading to the Dr this morning and think I'll feel more comfortable with their medicine stash if they have something 😆 Nice thought though.

Sending my hugest best wishes and good luck to your friend. I really hope she is accepted for this place (or for any place) soon and can imagine the relief that will give her and you. Really tough time. Hopefully this is the one for her.

Hope you get some rest after your choppy sleep and the day ahead goes well. Sending get well soons to @eth also.

❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita and @CheerBear

Sending all best wishes for your friend to be accepted for this place today @Mazarita.

Get well soons to you too @CheerBear.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita :), Claire @outlander 🙂 and everbody

Good luck visiting the place just down the street with your friend and even better luck with all the paperwork involved! I've seen my child go through the 'finding a place' a couple of times - it's ridiculous these days . . . I think it would be a help to be an accountant with some sort off legal knowledge!

The recent rain was lovely 🙂 I've even got a puddle in my driveway! 😄 But there hasn't been hardly any of the rain they've predicted, my dam is still dry - but that means the grass grows slower 🙂 I'm thinking of going to a local camp spot, I've been watching the weather site, waiting for all of this supposed rain to pass before I go. You watch, I'll go when the weather sites say it's going to be fine . . .and it'll rain 🙂

I just have the pillows and a sheet on the bed in Summer, that and I've strung up a little fan so that it blows directly down on me , and when it's hot, a spray-bottle of water. Touch wood, so far this Summer is being wonderfully mild here - not the norm really, but I'll take it 🙂

I did go to the Weir for dinner the other evening, and last night I had a fire out the back and cooked some cheese and onion dampers for dinner - they were successful and yummy {though I didn't have dinner until 1/2 past 9! } 🙂 Today I think I'd head into the 'big smoke', yesterday the weather sites said there may be storms, I didn't think that was the best day to face my anxieties head on 🙂 I'll do my grocery shopping and get me a fancy, flash camp chair! 😄

I hope this day brings smiles to both our ways 🙂

Love to you Mazy, Claire and anyone who needs it

Niqua

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Adding my good luck wishes for your friend @Mazarita ...... and get well wishes to you @eth ...... and good courage wishes for you @Former-Member as you head for "the big smoke" .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear, @eth, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @Appleblossom, @outlander and everyone,

Thanks so much for your good wishes today. I have really taken on my friend's emotions on this ride. Was excited and nervous about the pending inspection last night and all day today. Really couldn't do or think about anything much else.

But it wasn't the right flat for her. Too small and dingy at an outrageous price ($95 pw more than she is paying for a much bigger and better place now). She is desperate enough to pay the extra rent but not for that poky place. She was in a different mood about it all today though. A kind of 'grit your teeth and just get on with it' kind of mood. More stoic, less rollercoaster. We talked about having resilience to just keep doing it - going out to inspections, putting in applications. And having some faith that something doable will turn up. Not easy to be this serene about it, perhaps, but worth aiming towards.

Niqua, you're not wrong about the paperwork, though my friend is doing it all online. That's one of the things I'm helping with. I used to work for lawyers and can navigate that stuff okay, especially if it's for someone else aside from myself. When it comes to my own personal business, I keep everything as simple as possible: no insurance (can't afford it), no car (can't afford it), one bank account, no credit card (only debit), no debt, only one old superannuation account from when I was working, with very little in it. I have my paper files organised the same way I did it about 15 years ago, in an old box from the supermarket. The system still works!

Cheese and onion dampers sounds so delicious. I miss an open fire, especially one outdoors. I wonder how your day in the big smoke went.

Thanks for your wish of smiles. I usually smile every day, and even laugh too. I'm often a bit of a giggler, but that's partly to do with nerves. Today it's been a bit harder to smile though. I'm feeling depressed for my friend, though I'm not telling her that. So want her to find a place she can be happy in. There's still time, there's still hope.

CB, I hear you about the armchair. That's how bad the breathing got here too. Scary bad breathing. Remember the hospital emergency if things really get out of hand. Good to hear about your doctor appointment. Mostly I hope it has eased some by now for both you and Eth.

Hope the evening holds something pleasant for everyone before sleep.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Simple is good. @Mazarita

Helping out friend is good.

@Former-MemberI love your country stories... cheese onion damper is a great idea. After a month of bingeing and punishing self ?? I have been a bit austere and making salads every night for last few weeks .. not sure if it evens out.

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