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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

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Re: A long rave

Thanks a lot @Exoplanet @Maggie your support means a lot to me.

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It's a Giant Sequoia Tree - one of the largest trees in the world.

You can drive a bus through a hole in it's trunk (if there is a hole)....

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Re: A long rave

Great pics @Adge

@Exoplanet I worry about you out there all alone. In some ways it can feel safe, but def get your pets and get out if you need. Nobody ever wants disaster to strike, but ... take care.

@eth Printed off both feeling wheels and will hand colour them in when I need a calming meditative activity. There are so many things going in this complicated world. Its important to have other supports so that socialising does not become crisis management. "Peer support" sounds like a great "solution" in a solution focussed and box ticking environment, but its not that simple. The most vulnerable tending the most vulnerable may be a little skewed in terms of resources.

@Maggie Hugs

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi all

Kind of made it today. We had left the sofa and pergola up at church yesterday to use for today so I comandeered that for the service so I could sit with my legs and feet up.

Spent first part of the afternoon in the photo studio marking off names while the girls had their portraits done. Then was helping them all do a craft. Then the mums came and I went back into the pergola area with monkey and also cuddling one of the lion toys in there. Was so exhausted and sore and on the verge of panic that I did not feel I could move. Stayed there while they were cleaning up around me. Just before they finished I started to panic for some reason thinking that my brother would be here when I came home. Took my friend J quite a time to calm me enough so I could make it home. Still feeling quite jumpy and fragile. Told J I wished I had an appointment to ssee B sooner than 2 weeks. She suggested trying to get one but I don't feel right insisting on it after she made a special effort last time to see me. Just realised J asked where I saaw B and I told her. She mentioned leaving a note or something asking to see her if there was a cancellation but I didn't do it. Just could not manage it and did not know what to say with the way I am. Would hate B to think I was using her or panicing over nothing. Hoping I will be able to get a reasonable sleep tonight with the pain and these thoughts about why he came here and what he wants. It is playing on my mind that he knows I still live here and what he may be after.

Hoping the exhaustion I am feeling will take over from everything else. Just wish he had never come and that I could get him out of my mind somehow

In response to: A long rave

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@Appleblossom

My acct closes tomorrow all the best

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Re: A long rave

Thanks for letting me know. @Former-Member

You need to do what helps you. This site can get difficult.

Carry your music in your heart and sing and play all you need.

I will also try and take my own advice. lol

Cheers

Nice to have "met".

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Sunday evening @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Jadedragon @outlander @Donna1 @Doglover @Zoe7 @Angels333 @Judi9877 @BlueBay @cutiepiekitty @Faith-and-Hope @saturnzoon @Exoplanet @greenpea @Molliex @Maggie @Adge @Teej @Meowmy @Sans911 @Sherry @outlander @CheerBear @Gazza75 @octavia @Scarecrowe @TAB @Maxi7 @Dec @JosRapp @simontemplar @GieEuphoria @Hamsolo01 @eudemonism and an apology to anyone I missed.

I will be spasmodic for a few weeks but please dont think I have gone I have some Family illness to deal with as well as me.

Love to all remember stay strong be the best you can be and thats all you need to be.

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@Former-Member (((💕💕💕)))

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Hi @Appleblossom I appreciate your sharing your perspective about peer support work - I must say I am questioning the wisdom of me doing it after last week. My priority simply has to be my own MH and life balance and I can't afford to spend days feeling swamped or in recovery from events that come up with people I want to support. I definitely lost my boundaries and became immersed in a few things last week where I needed to debrief with someone face to face and there wasn't anyone that worked with. My brother having to ask if I was manic was pretty much the final straw and a big wake-up call. I can only engage in things that are good for my MH. I'm a bit (a lot) disappointed that my foray into peer support is not going that way at the moment. Will give it a couple of weeks to see if I can balance better with it, but may have to cease that kind of activity. We'll see. Tagging you here too @Former-Member .

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