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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I have reached out to others, that are in my family. they have offered to take him for awhile. other than that I'm doing the mental battle all on my own. it was a huge step for me to just join this forum. I don't know how I will go with a psycologist or counseller. having to re explain everything, time and time again. it really does my head in. I'm just stuck in a rut, and fighting my way out of it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia I do hope you can get someone else to have him for a bit. Thinking of you this morning and hoping you had a quiet night and a peaceful start today. Take care.

@cutiepiekitty saw your post elsewhere and feeling for you too about the situation with your brother. I can understand what a shock it must have been to see his note. Hopefully for your sake he won't be back. Best wishes for getting thru' today going to plan with all the young girls. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Teej and @Zoe7 hope today is starting gently for you all and has some promise in it. Not sure who else to tag for this post, anyone reading I hope the same for you.

My day today started with calls to both my uncle and my mum. Yesterday a huge bushfire came to within a km of uncle's home and I was in contact with him a few times to see how he was going. He's ok this morning, not much sleep and a house full of smoke (he's 80) so I'm somewhat relieved but they are still on watch and act alert in his area. Rang mum to tell her he's ok and she hadn't heard anything about it so she'll contact him too. He lives a long way from any family and has a pretty solitary life so he was really glad someone knew what was happening.

When I was talking to him yesterday (on speaker phone) I accidently woke my brother from a nap and he was pretty cranky. I was in a fairly alarmed state about uncle (reasonable in the circumstances really) ... brother sat me down and asked if I was thinking clearly and if I was manic. I managed to tell him I wasn't and apologise for waking him but once I was back in the cabin it really hit me that he'd felt it necessary to ask. That my MH reality is such that people close to me have to think that way. That they wonder first if it's bipolar behaviour when I have strong feelings that show about something that anyone would react to. I have a bunch of strong feelings again this morning about him having to ask, including some sort of guilt/shame stuff about being a worry to others. All I can do is make sure I am calm around him and sil today.

I am sure it is not a bipolar swing but it's made me realise that I did lose my boundaries a few times over the week with various things that happened. Drama with 2 members of my new womens group (including one who said she wanted to quit life) that involved long conversations with another 2 of them to set some guidelines in place for the group to make sure it's a social thing and not expected to do crisis support. A very disturbing incident here on the forums that I can't do any more about. Complications with the driving organisation that meant lots of emails back and forth. Difficult meeting with Coordinator of Supports. Cancelled support on Friday. A bereavement in the family ...... and on it goes.

Life is certainly more challenging atm. Also I start my driving lessons on Tues morning and am quite anxious about that.

Which reminds me I haven't booked in my support worker's times yet so I'd better take care of that.

Rave over - it does help to share about it tho'. To write and reflect and reach out for support. Thanks for reading this far to all who do. Take care, I care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth Took sleeping tablet but still did not get much. Glad that I have a busy day today. Managed to tell one of the other girls about the signs wwith monkey..... in my bag not too bad, if my hand is on him starting to stress/panic, if he comes out getting bad, holding tight real bad. She is going to keep an eye on me today and watch wher he is. I trust her enough to know she will be a support and will not share it around. She does not know my story, just that I am going through a hard time and now about monkey. So glad I had made my plans for if I needed to get away.

Knew he had been here before the day ended because my neighbours girl was there and she came and asked if he had found me because he went to her place checking if I lived here. Was good that I had the heads up, even though I feel I let the kids and team down by having to disappear. I had written my plan of escape down knowing that when overwhelmed the brain will not work. Had it in my little bag I carried with mints, phone, monkey and tissues. Think I will keep the bag together (except for monkey of course) for future use. It did help along with J being such a great friend and support.

Even being exhausted, sore, and having the dreaded panic hangover, I am going back today

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lots of thoughts for you @eth. That's a lot to deal with ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear you have a plan @cutiepiekitty . Hope today goes well for you. As you can see in my 2nd post I have a lot going on too. Luckily today is a day at home for me so some time to catch my breath, so to speak, and try to prepare for the week ahead. Maybe I should have a monkey too!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @CheerBear How are you going? Having a peaceful start to the day I hope.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth. Lots going on here too. Sitting with crochet at the moment which is good.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 💜💕💜💕🌻🌻🌻

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Bushfires are my biggest fear out here, they're predicting doozies this year. My only
plan {which I've had to take before} is to grab the critters & get out. It's scary stuff!
I sound a bit like your Uncle, only not quite his age . . . good on him for getting to
80 & still living the life he chooses 🙂 & good on you, for thinking of him. I had a
bro-in-law ring me & warn me of a fire once, I was really surprised - we didn't
exactly get on 😉 I think it might have been a case of 'a link to fame', you know, he
knew someone that was in the midst of an emergency. Thing is there wasn't a puff
or sniff of smoke, nor a crackle of sound. I got out & when I got to my sister's, I did
what's very norm these days, I got on google & saw that the fire was less then 5km
from my front door! So even though he does irritate me, I will be forever grateful
for that call.
There's a part of me that wished someone was able to alert me that I was kind of
losing the plot, the last time I did so {it was really embarrassing, I was swearing out
loud at the top of my lungs & I didn't even realize I was speaking out loud at all!}
Then there's a part of me that thinks your bro was just cranky, & not saying it was a
concious thought, but that he used his knowledge of your individual thought &
emotional process, to focus some of that cranky directly at you. Not saying it was
anyones fault, just saying that happens sometimes. . . . particularly when there's so
much going on!
I hope you got that support worker booked! You have come such a long way, your
going to get your independence of travel back!!! 🙂 Lots of love to you @eth

I care too

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