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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You don't have to feel alone @Former-Member you have helped a lot of us on here, knowing your story was very hard for you to tell us here, and I could relate to some of it being in the reserves and know what goes on, you should be proud of yourself for getting where you are now, being only 19 and having your whole life turned upside down, and going in there letting them know how this has and still is affecting you, there are a lot of females Who are to scared to take things further but when they hear someone is taking it to court you could actually be giving some hope to others that may come out and do the same thing. I hope your psychologist gets back to you, especially when you're not coping right now.

We are all here for you no matter what you're going through, you can feel safe on here and we care about what happens to you, and if your not up to posting anything you can just read posts as sometimes that helps.

I hope you can have a peaceful night and am sending warm wishes your way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member

"Talking" on the threads can get a bit convoluted sometimes. People respond to different parts of a post. it might not be in real time. It can be easy for misunderstandings, or a feeling of being overlooked to happen.

When sharing deeply it can feel like you have put yourself on the line. DO what is best for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think it was me @Appleblossom Don't know what to say to change the situation.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins reaching out to you here in case you feel like chatting or just being heard.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth @Appleblossom @saturnzoon @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Bunniekins @Maggie @Former-Member @Adge @MDT @Faith-and-Hope @cutiepiekitty @TAB

And sorry for those I haven't tagged

Hey guys, I hope you're all okay, I know some of you are struggling, sending my love through the forum.

Anyway, it's my birthday today and Mr Angels is taking me out to sculptures by the sea at Bondi. I'm really looking forward to going. We went two years ago and it was the day before a hospital admission but it was a lovely day and it really took my mind off going into hospital. Then last year we went to go and I sprained my ankle walking to the train station so we never got there.

Here's hoping today goes off without a hitch. I need to be be home by 6 as I am helping lead youth group tonight at 7.

SH was a nuisance this morning! Yes on my birthday 😭 but I will be distracted for the rest of the day. I do have some anxiety going into a crowd and think I should have taken some prn, I have to ask Mr Angels to give it to me as it's locked away and I don't want to ask. Anyway I am sure I'll be fine as long as Mr Angels is staying close.

The weather is going to be hot at 36deg. So we're bringing sunscreen and water.

I hope you all have a good day and if you're struggling try the sane online chat, I've always found it helpful

Love Angels333

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Happy birthday @Angels333 I hope your outing goes off without a hitch. Have a lovely time. xoxo

It's my adult child's birthday today too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Happy Birthday @Angels333 hope it is a good day for you not much gets past @Shaz51 usually she;s the birthday-lady lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member spotted you there under the support button. Hope today is a good one for you. Mine's pretty tricky so far. A combination of a few challenging things going on. Trying to stay positive.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey there @Former-Member, I am sorry to hear what your Doctor said about forgiveness healing PTSD - this is very painful, and sounds like it comes from a place with little empathy or deep understanding. Do you feel comfortable letting them know how this made you feel? Many people would feel very unheard by such a comment, we hear you here, and we hear your journey and pain around helping people too. It's okay sometimes to step out, to acknowledge when certain helping roles are not right for us. You are a very resilient person, you are intelligent and strong and like many of us here have come to this place without much familial support. I am going to send you an email to check in with you in addition to this, speak soon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have birthday @Angels333 , hope you have a nice day down at the beach 🙂

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