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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well done on sending that email @eth It is unacceptable how you have been treated and even worse that they have blatantly lied ...does not give you any faith in their process

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good to hear you will have you CoS there with you to speak with you @CheerBear and if they get anything wrong don't be afraid to speak out - not that I imagine you would be!

@Zoe7 I've just had prompt reply clearing things up and a good dialogue with them. So now I'm booked to have weekly lessons from 29th Oct through 10th December, in my car and with the MH OT doing the lessons. Plus I can take a support worker with me. So it was definitely worth speaking up. They will also correct a few things that I queried from their report. And finish the manual driving assessment. Good outcome!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is an amazing outcome @eth and wonderful that they got onto it so quickly ...must relieve some of that stress over it for you Hon 👍💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

wow they are a big three for one person to deal with.....that must be so hard for everyone involved!!!!!--- yes @Scarecrowe

step S3 is finding it hard and wouldn`t get help

step S2 has the same but is on meds

way to go @eth xx

hello @CheerBear , @Sans911 , @Zoe7

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Way to go @eth you are using difficult experiences in the best possible way. What you have done is so big hearted and generous. I hope you feel a sense of pride and accomplishment in knowing that you are bringing comfort and hope to others.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 @frog

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks a lot @frog I've really appreciated the feedback from folk here as I didn't get much from the group I did the presentation for. I think they might have been a bit shell-shocked by hearing about so many forms of abuse in one hour - might have been too intense for some of them, even tho' we spent the last 1/2 hr laughing and focusing on self-care stuff.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth and @Zoe7

I decided to deliberately learn from both of you about assertion and standards and levels of care. I have not found you confused. I applaud your willingess to work with mental health issues in the most creative nad productive ways. Many people deny their mental health conditions, and many people do treat those with MH conditions with stigma. Eg today, I learned not to use the words mental health, but use wellbeing instead, just cos of subtle responses to the concepts of mental health. I did not actually encounter stigma but it could have been close.

I also had many family members who have suffered from less than quality care, so it helps me to keep aware.

Btw I have had another great weekend. Hugs and good will to all.

@frog @Shaz51 @Former-Member @MDT @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @TAB @Bunniekins and pls dont feel left out if I forget to tag. Its not one of my strengths.

Cheers

Apple

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hugs to you too @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

to you too @Appleblossom Thanks for your comments. My usual go to is to say I have health challenges - it's none of most people's business what they are and usually stops the 'and what do you do?' stuff when meeting new people. But in the right circles e.g. with the disability alliance people, I am more open about what those challenges are. If my experiences can help anyone else it feels really good - I really would like to regain the feeling that I have something to contribute to the world.

Great to hear your weekend went well.

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