FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

23,261 - 23,270 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So pleased to hear you have had another great weekend @Appleblossom They are becoming more regular for you and that truly is wonderful to hear.

There is a movement away from talking about MH in those terms and instead looking at mental wellbeing - I personally do not think it matters but it is being talked about in terms of mental and physical wellbeing in schools also,

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth , thanks for the tag. I wldnt know what a peaceful day looks or feels like. Every day is torture and torment. I find it rly depressing that I'm on a forum for people with mental health issues and am in by far the worst state of everyone. I see people engage and chat and share and live varying degrees of normal lives,at least in some aspects, and I don't have any of that. My whole life is a mess and I can't function normally in any way. Don't know if I shld post this as it's such a depressing post.

I'm sorry to dump eth. Youl regret tagging me now!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Doglover I don't regret tagging you at all, it sounds like someone reaching out to you is a good thing. I'm so sorry to hear life is so difficult for you at this time. And I can assure you that your post reaching to me in return is heard and I'm sending you all the support I can. The fact you are able to write out what's going on is a good sign that gives me hope, if only I could sit with you I would. So I'm doing it 'virtually'. I'm a shoulder you can lean on

One thing about the forums is that you are never judged, no matter how bad things get. That's why we're here. Over the time I've been on the forums I've had times that bad too (several times), and have seen lots of folk hit the bottom and then gradually climb back up again. Sometimes that involves the whole 3 steps forward 2 steps back thing (well most times). So please never feel that you shouldn't post, no matter what's going on. Occasionally you might even get an email from the team at sane, they are checking in with you to see how you're going and make some suggestions to resources beyond the forums.

I hope you have someone in your offline life that you can really talk openly with, like psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellor or even a good GP. Having that sort of health team in my life is one of the main reasons I am currently able to stay afloat, but it's a relatively recent thing for me to be able to do so. I'm 56 and it took until I was 54 for anyone to get my meds right and give me therapy that actually works for me. I spent most of the rest of my life either with paralysing major depression or sometimes so manic that I went into psychosis.

Here is a diagram that describes what a mental health recovery journey can like :

This is how it's been and still is for lots and lots of us here. It's so hard to be patient and goal focused and for me it took years to even be able to form goals - when I was asked what they were I would just burst into tears.

Hoping that this message reaches you this morning. I'll be around for a while if you do want to talk. On a bad day for me It's about taking 10 minutes at a time, not even and hour or a day. Something that can really help is finding self-nurturing activities that at least take your mind off your troubles briefly, there's a thread called coping box https://saneforums.org/t5/Looking-after-ourselves/Coping-Box/td-p/20101/highlight/true/page/13 that might help you with some ideas.

Take care my friend. You are not alone xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Appleblossom , Tim Minchin is quite brilliant. Hope today is peaceful for you xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What a day it's been ......... on top of my meeting with my coordinator of supports which went ok, I got through it without her realising I am about to replace her, and I got the necessary outstanding paperwork sorted ........ that was kind of eclipsed by a new friend sending a group message that they wanted to quit life a couple of hours before my meeting. I offered her as much support and suggestions as I could come up with but she stopped responding and I couldn't reach her again until a little while ago. Made all the same suggestions as I would if it happened here - referrals, self-care suggestions, resources ... Needless to say she was on my mind all day. Life gets so real some times. I was really torn about whether to alert authorities or not to do a welfare check on her, but I knew this would really escalate her too. Plus I don't know where she lives anyway. So I decided to do what I had to do (my meeting) and check on her later, which I tried a few times. Eventually hearing from her and her main concern now seems to be not having money for smokes! I feel like I've been through the mill today and so confused about whether I was right to be so alarmed or whether my own past experience coloured my reactions. Lost for words a bit and feeling so many feelings.

@Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Teej @frog @outlander @CheerBear @Former-Member @Former-Member @s-jay Not sure who else to tag. You all know me pretty well by now. I know you've all got a lot happening in your own lives but I could do with some connection at the moment.

Thanks for reading.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is a really worrying sort of day @eth hearing from someone who says things about ending life and then no replies is so daunting and worrying but im glad you reached her and i hope that she may get herself some help in finances and/or other issues she has to move forward in life. For me when i hear/read that sort of thing i go right into worry/panic mode and i think thats normal for anyone really.

Have you got anything caming and nice for this arvo to help those nerves out?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What I'd like to do is have a chat with my bro but his wife's aunty is extremely unwell and could pass away any time; he only got back last night and sil is going to see the aunt tomorrow so tonight they just need to hang out with each other. No-one I can debrief with other than here on the forums. Thanks for your reply @outlander. Will go watch telly at 6 - they say it's the opiate of the nation so maybe it will work for me. I could take a prn but prefer not to - will see how I'm going later tonight about that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander burning some sandalwood insence - it's pretty calming.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im sorry to hear about bros wife's aunty. It sounds like a tough time within your family atm.
Watching some tv and insence sounds nice.
Anything in particular on the tv you want to watch? @eth

Sorry it took me so long was doing the dishes and getting a line full of washing off before the night air sets in.
23,261 - 23,270 of 27,230