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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope your day turns out better than expected too, @outlander.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone ..... 💕

Thanks for the call-out @Mazarita. I woke up at about 4am here today. It’s only 5:30am now, so I might try to doze some more ....

Hoping your friend finds her new apartment today.

💐💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

More dozing here soon too, @Faith-and-Hope. Sleep well. Good to cross paths in chat again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Mazy @Mazarita :), Claire @outlander 🙂 and Everybody

Sometimes I see my mind like the pivot of a see-saw. Often it sits for long periods of times with it's balance to one side, like it's focus is directed to 1 point. Then along comes a thought, another point and sits on the other end of the see-saw, then the balance starts swinging; as more and more thoughts come along and sit on either end of the see-saw, the balance rapidly changes. Thoughts fly and dive in a semi-circle on 2 sides, getting giddier as they fly higher and dive to a thump on the ground, that bounces you right off your seat sometimes!

I have deliberately placed my see-saw out in the bush, so that it gets as little use as possible - this pivot is old and rusty and it has proven to be a little too sensitive; if the thoughts start jumping up and down all over the see-saw, this pivot has been know to drop the lot and it takes a while to pick that big heavy plank back up again and get that weight balanced just right on it again 😉

I remembered to take the rubbish with me when I went to town yesterday! that was a bonus 🙂 I got some entertainment from the local library but I couldn't get anything to play last night! I ended up happily playing a game for the night, but will have to look into why my DVD player isn't responding {maybe look for my external DVD player & see if it still works?:) The critters and I had a lovely walk in the forest, I really am lucky to have a state forest almost in my back yard, it is the perfect place to take the dogs for a walk. They found another couple of 'treasures' though, that will probably have me try another spot next time - a carcase and a skin, even though the temperature has been lovely {really seem to be in a 'sweet spot' pocket atm} . . . they'll still have a definate aroma to them shortly {PHEW!} 😄

I might take them for a walk at a 'new spot' 😄 There's a 'local' spot I'm interested in camping at, when I say local I mean an hour or so away, but maybe after pay-day I might go for a drive there for a walk with the dogs? It would be a start 🙂 Some of our 'regular' spots are about 1/2 hour away now anyhow, and I could look at the type of car tracks, whether or not the creek/river has dried up, how much shade, how flat, etc. while we where there. It is glorious weather here at the moment, if there is a 'local spot' where I could sit & enjoy it whilst looking at water, particularly running water like a creek or river . . . well that wouldn't be such a bad thing 😄

Hope you got some descent dozing Mazy and I hope your nights are letting you rest too Claire Love to you both and anyone needing it

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good afternoon Niqua. im so sorry im missing msgs, im struggling alot so im hiding away and not really being on the forums either. i dont have much to say atm either and have the fear ill loose my forum family swirling around.

sounds like your in good spirits Niqua, its really good to see. your new camping spot sounds really good and i do hope you get to visit there with your little critters too. im sure they are loving the travel and exploring of new areas too.

try and keep that see-saw in balance but its ok if it goes out alittle bit, we can help with that in the form of support which you have my full support 24/7 and am only a tag away

anyway im glad your home and doing well 🙂 ive missed you

hello to everyone- i do apoligise if i miss msgs here for the same reason above. im more silently following for now

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear Niqua, @Former-Member, interesting to read about the see-saw. Vivid description of some of your states of being. Sounds like yesterday was an okay day, despite 'treasures' and not being able to play DVDs. Especially the walk with the dogs in the forest. Cool to hear of your continuing inspirations for new places to visit. A creek or river would be lovely to be near.

We are expecting storms for the next two days here. It's been unusually wet for quite some time. So glad I got in a walk on the beach a couple of days ago. Probably won't be much of that for a little while again now. Rainy weather is forecast for the whole week. At the same time it's getting hotter and the humidity is up. I've been sweating, even in my little summer dresses.

Hi @eth, how is your lurgy going? Really hoping there has been some improvement for you. I know how miserable it can be. Thinking of you with yours too, @CheerBear.

The housing search for my friend is getting very anxious at this point. She's four weeks from having to be out, with xmas intervening (less business days to get it all done). Still no place for her to live. I've made a list of current possibilities for her to ring about on Monday. She's having to look at areas at considerable distance from here, where she has lived for the past 15 years and has support. She also may have to pay up to $90 a week more than she is currently paying. Things are pretty grim. Yesterday she was talking about suicide. Really wanting to stay strong for her, though it's affecting me too.

It's just after 4am here, 5am for the rest of the east coast. The first bird is sounding. I've been awake for about 90 minutes after a few hours sleep. Not very sleepy at the moment, will get some more before too long, I imagine. Wonder if there's anyone up and around with us birds.

Sending fond good wishes to everyone here for the day ahead.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita ☺ I've slept in a little (yay!). Coffee and birds here.

So hard with your friend and her housing situation. It's such a bad time to be looking for a house also with the holidays. Is she engaged with any kind of housing service? Completely understand how it would be affecting you also, particularly after the conversation yesterday. 🙁

Hope the hot and humid weather isn't too draining throughout the week. We slow down lots here when it is hot and humid. It's been very wet and very cold here for the last day and a half. Have to hunt around for my beanie I think. It's amazing how quickly the weather can change here!

Any plans for today?

Waving to all. Hope you're feeling a little better @eth.

❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear

My friend is not with any housing service. I have been suggesting she might think of seeking more support in her life circumstances for a long time. But she is very independent minded and strong willed, though very vulnerable in other ways. So the best I can do is offer support and assistance myself, some of her other friends have helped with some packing so far, and likely to show up for that part of the end of it when needed. She also has a place to stay temporarily if time runs out.

No plans for today other than to try not to obsess over my friend's housing. It will be back on again on Monday so I should try to take some time out from the worry if I can. The wet and humid weather means indoors days, which can drive me stir crazy too. Hopefully I'll find something to occupy myself. I can't seem to concentrate all that well on video just at the second.

Meanwhile, it's funny thinking of you needing a beanie while I'm almost sweating even now, at 5am.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's tough being strong willed and independent minded but not having that be enough to break out of a housing mess @Mazarita (doesn't sound familiar to me at all haha 😉). That's probably a lot for you to be taking on also. Sundays are good for the pause that it puts on things, in a way, especially if you have the mindset like you sound you have in that it is a good opportunity for time out and a break before it starts again with the working week. So much of this 🙁 for it all though. Hope you find the tiny break today feels good for you.

Indoors and warm can drive me a bit bananas too. We found battleship on our devices the other day just after our tech chat actually, which was fun and made me have a bit of a laugh as digital battleship means no missing pieces and sound effects! Bonus ☺

Poncho, slippers, jumper, long pj pants, thick socks - and I am still cold. Maybe more comfortable than sweating when the morning time starts with a F though!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha, @CheerBear, still makes me feel so good inside that you have a home secured now, and that it's another step forward in the practical way of helping you build rental history. Did we have a tech chat recently? Battleship doesn't ring a bell, though I seem to remember playing it as some kind of board game when I was young.

The sweat is kind of building and subsiding as the weather alters course with the dawn. I've got both sliding doors in this main room open now and there's a nice breeze flowing through. It's already been raining. Feels good just now. The sweating is very likely also partly a product of menopause. It's crazy and almost hilarious how sensitive my body is to heat in general since I entered this time of my life. For example, there's a slightly warmer spot in the kitchen than the rest of the flat and I often start sweating when I stand there waiting for the kettle to boil! I have been living in small sleeveless dresses, thongs or sandals for at least 6 weeks already.

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