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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Yes the regular weekly appts r definitely the best.

I even notice the difference just one missed appt

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member

We have a huge amount in common. The things we put ourselves through. Sounds like you have a wonderful voice.

The need to excel to be half acceptable, then tends to make others uncertain and see us as a potential threat, even though all we ant is to be liked. Choirs are hard as you have to work closely with others and trust is needed otherwise rivalry can become a big problem. Different styles of leadership can make a difference. The depth of working together means there has to be some some rapport.

I also experienced abuse in my family and in the world and get what you are saying. My heart goes out to you.

I admit I have issues as I get tetchy and edgy about middle class stuff as always used to being put down and given the flick and dont seem to have a clue about is reasonable or safe so the mods need to guide me ...

Hearing you about both men and the gay thing. In 2 recent groups and I have attracted gays gal as well as the straight ... weird ,,, but also makes sense.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom thanks for the music. I love Lucky Dube. His song 'Mamma' is one of my favourites of all time. The lyrics of "the way it is" are fabulous. I'll have to listen to him for a long time now!!! He really gets into my head - ear worm!!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member and @Appleblossom it's great to see you two have connected. I thought you'd probably have a lot of common ground.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom

I did write back but think its getting checked.

Ive had 2 bad experiences with choirs.first time in toowoomba. I went into soprano section & i stood out really loud & felt so embarassed.

Next wk i went back & sat in alto section. Then the conductor made a huge scene in front of everyone saying couldnt i make up my mind where to be.

This time i sat in alto section cause my singing teacher in Melb told me to. & then i was told the opposite ur too high for alto & questioned if i was singing right notes!

Why dont they just voice test u when u start & tell u where they want u to sit. Both times i was totally new in a town & both times not on a strong mood stabilizer.

I was originally trained as a sop singing opera.

In Melb was told im mezzo & this is the problem. In Melb i blended well with 5 other mezzos singing in an opera production.

To my knowledge mezzo sings in alto because theres rarely a true alto.lady that told me off had no vocal training i could hear most were singing with their chest voices so naturally mine didnt blend cause i was singing with my head voice correctly.

Actually i found choir boring & its hard all that sitting with my back. Cause i have scholiosis.

Im happy to continue training by myself until such time i feel confident to join a musical

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom

Just going to c cats tonight at the theatre

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Certainly seems that way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Gazza75

@eth

@outlander

Im off to watch cats musical now

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have a great time @Former-Member 😊😊❤️🐱🐱🐈🐈🐯🐯 my eyes aren't great , they are meant to be cats!!

Evening @eth and @Appleblossom. I am. Just signing off, been a bit lazy at the gym tonight as usual. I have lost what little mojo I had. Lol

Take. Care everyone, that goes doubly for you @outlander ☺️☺️❤️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Gazza75

Thanks

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