FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

23,151 - 23,160 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member

Hope you enjoy the show.

Choirs are not for everybody.

Everything you said made absolute sense to me, but seemed your situation was not well handled. I have been in accompaniment and conductor roles in community, but found all the politicking too hard so signed up for choir as a regular cheap night out when my son was a teenager, so we could have space, and I could learn some repertoire. I was learning about it as a skill mode, I had studied a bit at uni and the family had long interest. I definitely distinguish between community choir, classical choir and opera chorus. They are 3 different beasts. I am more skilled than a chorister and my 2 current conductors know that and value me. Last night I was hamming it up with the tenors singing robustly ... after ditching the super squealiy sops for the blokes. I was super shy when young and did not sing .... spoke behind my hand ,,, decades later ,,, now I have fair technique and enjoyed Wagner spinning chorus, but the repetitieur put me off ... .... and I am on a broader musical artistic and life journey ... I also wanted to check out the total environment my son had been involved in before he had a bad episode ... hmmmm ... he had sung with them the year before ,,, I saw enough to understand.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good night ALL
@Former-Member @Gazza75 @eth @outlander

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you enjoy the musical @Former-Member

Goodnight @Gazza75 @eth @Appleblossom and all passing through

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander

Thanks

Nice night out not too hot at all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom

Thanks for explaining the choirs. Makes sense as to why ive had problems.

Maybe im just not a choir person.

Im definitely not a sop tho

Maybe musical theatre is where i belong i used to sing as a paid job in nursing homes. I sang all the songs from musicals in mezzo range.

No they didnt handle it well both times.

Maybe ill get more confident once i find friends here.

Nice night out tonight its not hot at all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Gazza75 @outlander and anyone else around here today. Hope the day goes smoothly for all.

I have to get off here and prep for my presentation this morning. Have decided to cut right back on the amount on information I share and keep it more broadly focused rather than just about relationship and family abuse. e.g. the many different forms of abuse - things that are relevant for people with disabilities, not just people who've had dv or csa in their life.

Have a nice morning all. I'll probably be back this afternoon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good luck @eth

Have a good day @Former-Member @outlander @Appleblossom 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Gazza75

@eth

@Appleblossom

@outlander

Enjoy ur day

Bit tired from being up late.

Lollipop duty on a great site then catching up on my studies then aqua tonight

Might try & get Piano prac & singing training in too today oh yes the weekly dishes r staring at me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks a lot @Gazza75 I'm feeling fairly well prepared and surprisingly calm about it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's great @eth , i'm sure you will knock there socks off 🙂

Sounds like a pretty busy day @Former-Member 🙂 Did you enjoy the show last night?

23,151 - 23,160 of 27,230