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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge how did your brother go with starting to breathe unaided? Very much hoping there is some positive news and progress soon.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @MDT @Mazarita @TAB @Maggie @Owlunar @Gazza75 @Meowmy , I find it hard with my BPD and it's like abandonment which I struggle with.

They are renting on the south other side of the city and near the beach, we are renting in the north and I have only seen her once, so trying to get my head around why this is happening, I can't believe why my son has done this

@Adge I'm so sorry on how your family are treating and saying those things, I don't understand people in these times, still treat people Disabilities, he needs his family to be there for him and to have hope, they say that coma people can still hear us talking to them.

I still say a prayer for him and yourself Adge as every little bit we can do will help.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Okay so she is from Christies or somewhere same as Elizabeth til prices went up @saturnzoon . You’re fine. Get your own line of communication maybe , forget son who wants to exclude you. Its 2 train trips. No big deal. Relax .

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon Hey, family disharmony is hardest to deal with. I think it may work better if we distance ourselves a bit from the disputes. Try to keep calm and look after ourselves. Hope you find something nice this evening for yourself. Take care.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon I feel your pain. Although not quite the same, I have no contact with my nephews. I last saw them at my grandmothers funeral about 15 years ago. My sister that I had to get a court order on to keep her away has told them lies so they have no contact with me. They were beautiful boys and I wish I knew them as adults. .One suicided a couple of years ago and I found out about it reading it in the death notices in the paper. The other two both have kids and I have never met my great nieces and nephews. I have tried reaching out to the boys but got no response. Obviously she has poisoned them against me.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins and all others on here. Been trying to get help making some life decisions but it is very hard. Unless you have a lot of money nobody wants to help you. I have sent messages to a few places asking if they would help, practically begging them. Hopefully I will get a positive response from someone. Seems I do not fit the criteria of many places that are meant to help.

Gave the worker at the laundromat a scare this morning when a panic attack came on. She has never seen one before, but she did well handling me. I was at the shaking and nearly crying stage when she came in. She got me by the shoulders and just held them till I could tell her it was just a panic attack. She wanted to know how to help but all I could do was hold onto her hand. tried to explain after while she sat with me and I think she understood a bit. She has not seen one before.

Starting to think I may need to go and get my meds upped a bit. I am on a very low dose, so may not be enough at the moment while I am early on trrying to deal with things. See B next Monday. Three weeks between appts, and it seems like a lifetime. Have been going through things that we spoke about and not being able to get around the ideas. Will tell her when I see her that I have had trouble.

I have just got to a new stage I feel. I have for the first time been able to say to someone other than B that I was abused. That is a big thing to do for me. And I have admitted to a couple of places that I am asking to help me that I have panic and anxiety and CPTSD. Been too afraid to admit it before. Was hard and I am still wondering if I should have admitted it, but hopefully it was the right thing to do to try and help getting some of the help I really need at the moment. Was about as hard as making the first call to get counselling.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Owlunar Hey Dec omg you have alot on at the moment. I hope you can slowly work your way through them all. That is the only way I can do everything is step by step. Not all at once . I like the way you describe the past as being bunched up sticky tape at christmas ..... that is so true :).

I am getting better at accepting my past mistakes and knowing that no one is perfect and everyone has regrets. It helps to move forward and not constantly be stuck in the past. I hope you are having a lovely night. Your friend pea xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning and Hap-oea Wednesday to @Mazarita @cutiepiekitty @Meowmy @TAB @saturnzoon @eth @Angels333 @Doglover and all I have missed wishing you all a kind and caring day. Full of love. peaxxxx:)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning @Bunniekins Sending light and love your way xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins good morning, little pea.

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