FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

22,601 - 22,610 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What a terrible accident @Adge

Intellectually disabled people can have so much trouble taking care of themselves and they can have terrible accidents - I do understand that

It's rough for everyone - and you seem to care about him a lot - and your Mum must be frustrated and upset herself

I had trouble with my son not being able to take responsibility for his life and doing things that were frustrating and upsetting - I know what that's like - and it sounds as if your brother has really injured himself badly with this accident - I guess most of us would handle a kitchen fire without danger to ourselves but your brother's not able to

Its horrible for your whole family

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon Hope you can cheer up soon. Family is never easy. We have to try to live our lives best we can. Take care.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @saturnzoon

What a cheap way to learn about your new grandson - I am so sorry

As families are like that - I could tell a tale - you are not alone - but it is so sad that this young couple are not up to letting you see your grandson - that is so upsetting

Am I right in thinking that this girl is class conscious - that is something none of us need - you don't need that kind of grief but you little grandson - you must feel down when you don't know when you will see him if ever

I am so sorry Saturn - I really feel for you

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon That’s really hard. Sorry this is coming on top of such a difficult time for you. Sending kind thoughts and some of these. 💕💕💕🌷🌷🌷

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm sorry @saturnzoon
😕

I have nothing to say to that. That's unfair.

Thought are with you my awesome friend.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Indeed @saturnzoon
What @TAB said

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

..eh??..
@MDT ..Spicy One @eth lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Because he is blind @Owlunar What might have been manageable (being on fire) for some other people, was not.

Yes he's critical, & has had several emergency skin graft operations (already).

His being in ICU for 11 days (so far) is a strong indicator, too.

I've only been in ICU for a day at a time (several times), myself.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Owlunar I love your concept of noticing the penultimate straw ... makes total sense, wise advice. The piece I'm working on is for a set theme of scars ... so it's about my adult child's recovery from double mastectomy recently and all the scars they carry internally as a result of being transgender in a binary world, and what they are able to have joy about now that they've had the surgery.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon very sorry to hear your news. hopefully once the reality of being a parent 24/7 kicks in the mother will want to reach out - how awful to be judged when she has not spent any real time with you. Sometimes all we can do is our best to create space for younger generations to return to when they wake up. sending support and hugs.

22,601 - 22,610 of 27,230