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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Bunniekins @Angels333 @Meowmy @cutiepiekitty @Zoe7 @saturnzoon @Appleblossom @outlander and anyone else around today. Hope it's starting gently as possible for all reading.

@cutiepiekitty I really hope you get the help you are looking for soon. It's very brave for you to be disclosing to the people you apply with, but I agree that they are probably more likely to help if they have a clearer picture of what you are dealing with.

Thinking of you @saturnzoon and sending warm wishes that you can find peace while coming to terms with the latest news of your grandbub. It's so unfair what the parents are doing. Here to support you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth good morning, with, hope you have a good day. I am about to start work. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth I am finding it really really difficultt. So far I have not been able to get the help I really need at the moment but hopefully someone will be able to help me out.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty, hope you are having an okay today and have a breakthrough in seeking help. It's really hard when it costs an arm and a leg to get help.

@saturnzoon, thinking of you and hoping you are managing alright today. I was thinking of you yesterday as I was left out of a family event and felt pretty glum about it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Special shout outs to @CheerBear and @Teej . Thinking of you both today and sending you all my best wishes. You are both amazing, strong and resilient women in my opinion. Sending lots of 'hang in there' thoughts and support and a listening ear for if you do want one. Will be sending you both strength over coming times. Lots of s xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Still not feeling right Depression and anxiety are high sky, cant get out of bed no motivation and to many things keep going through my mind. My son had posted him with the baby on Facebook and it hurts and I cry, I try not to but don't know how to cope with this as never been in a situation like this before, it's taken me over a year to be ok when my daughter went to Newcastle but this one there right here just 45minutes away.

@eth @Mazarita @Gazza75 @cutiepiekitty @Meowmy @Ant7 @Smc @MDT

@TAB @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @outlander @CheerBear @Former-Member @Owlunar

@Angels333 @Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sending you hugs @saturnzoon

I try not to but don't know how to cope with this as never been in a situation like this before,-- like me when my step D1 sends photos to her Dad but not to me , makes me feel sad but glad too that she is sending things to her dad mr shaz

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm sorry @saturnzoon , it must seem awful. Can you see someone to unpack it a bit for you? Sorry, i dont know what else to say

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon
My friend I feel very much for you. A burden shared is a burden lessened.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon, hope you can get back on track soon. Its very hard. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🌺🌺☕🌻🌻🌻

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