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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Gazza75 @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Adge and sending hopes that today is one of the better ones for you all.

@Adge It's sad to hear that your family does not support your brother. And outrageous what your mother said about his appearance. Insensitive, to say the least. Sending you warm wishes. You have support here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning @eth , hope you have a good day your side 🙂

Hi @Adge , I'm sorry to hear about your family not being more supportive and thoughtful about your brother. I can only say and assure you that the nurses and doctors in the ICU are super amazing and will give your brother all the attention and care in the world.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wow - there is so much on this thread I don't think I'll get around to answering it - but I have clicked the support button a lot more than usual

@Adge - I missed what happened to your brother but it must have been pretty horrendous - and what your mother said is outrageous - just because your brother can't see his disfigurement doesn't mean he doesn't know about it

It seems as if he had a terrible accident - I am sorry and wish both of you the best I can - it's great you can support him - the situation sounds pretty terrible

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth

Thanks for tagging me into the rave - it keeps me in touch - there are times when I don't seem to spend much time here and other times when I read my phone a lot but don't respond much and then other times when I get around the site -

I found it hard to get back into the swing of everything after two weeks away - my medication was less when I was away because there is one item I can only get from the doctor - and I missed that - I am still having the flare I could do without - and I have starting proceedings to find anothe pain specialist - I have to organise an MRI - let's not do it all at once - that would be overpowering

I hope you find your muse too - I think I had one - I think it must have been an owl - a long time ago I wrote a lot of short stories and really insightful poetry - when I moved here from the flat where I wrote so much a managed to lose a lot of stuff - I just never finished the job myself and stuff was left behind - that was nearly 16 years ago - how time flies and how much of it I have behind me

But it has been a worthwhile life - worth writing about certainly - I still have some of those stories - I have my favourite one - The Penultimate Straw - that's the second last straw - the most important straw - noticing that one can save us a lot of angst

So I hope that Muse finds it's way back to you - we all need inspiration - it's helps us build a record of the time we have been here

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am looking forward to daylight saving too @Zoe7 - I enjoy taking a walk around sunset - I find that an excellent time to be outside in the fresh air taking time for exercising my mind and my body - sometimes I might not have any idea what I was thinking about but I must have been enjoying myself - I always feel well after that

When I was in Cairns a took walks on the Esplanade late in the afternoon - a lot of people would be about then - it's a great place for people-watching - late in the day seems to be the best time for me - and I always feel as sense of jet-lag when we put the clocks forward or back - but forwards is harder - in Victoria the clocks are put forward on 6th of October which is in two weeks

It seems your support role with students needing one on one time is not exciting as class room teaching - I did a lot of private tutoring and some of those kids really didn't want a tutor - it was something their parents thought up - I found those episodes stressful but the up-side of my teaching was the kids that were stimulated and some of those are still in my minds all these years later

All the best Zoe

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins

Just sending a message to the Pea - I hope you are able to reorganised stuff now you know you can't sit on your hands and wait for things to happen

I get it - I am doing something similar - after some conflict with my pain specialist I am in the process of organising myself into a different one in the private sector - I am trying to get an appointment to have an MRI to begin with - not easy - they changed their phone number and now the line is busy but this clinic is very close to home - which is easier than travelling a long way everytime

And I have to find a psychologist - strange that I should need one simply to write me a letter to say I am stable - which I am - but it's something that I will need when I see a new person at a different clinic - my past seems to haunt me - once I got the idea my son's troubled life was over and all the things that went bad at the same time were over and I couldn't change a thing I accepted it and so much of the angst went away

But alas - people know of it - and it follows me around - and altough I know I have settled my mind about it all I know I can still be triggered and always will I guess but the truth remains that we can never change the past and it does stick like bunched up sticky tape on our fingers when we are wrapping Christmas Presents

That settled I will be organising myself into a pain specialist - I know the person I am thinking of - I was his patient in the past - he was a kind and understanding person

All the best with your on-going projects Pea - I wish you the best

Dec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Owlunar @Mazarita @Gazza75 @eth @Bunniekins @TAB @Adge @Former-Member @outlander @CheerBear @BlueBay @Meowmy @Ant7 @Smc @MDT @Maggie @Bill16 @Angels333

My 1son sent me a text yesterday to say his girlfriend had a baby boy and has her last name, I was not invited to see The baby's birth and my son he doesn't know if I wil get to see the baby, he said his girlfriend doesn't like coming down to us cause where in a lower class, and said sometimes I might be able to see him but he doesn't know when,I have never met her family and have only seen her once, so I'm a bit down since yesterday and there's nothing I can do.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Owlunar Much appreciated.

My has been blind since birth, & is intellectually disabled.

He caught himself on fire, whilst cooking (11 days ago) - he's been in ICU in a burns unit, since then.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Maybe he’ll grow up one day @saturnzoon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon, thinking of you and hope you don't feel down about it for to long. It's there loss as much as yours. If the baby doesn't get to know all of his family then it it only shows how selfish the parents are and how small minded some people are. He will grow up one day and figure that out himself I'm sure. We are all people and should be treated with dignity and respect regardless of our economic or social status.

It's nice to hear from you. 🙂

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